March 9th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Mars, Milky Way – Shortly after suspending his 2020 presidential campaign, Bernie Sanders waved to everyone on Earth as he boarded his plane for Mars. “This is a bittersweet moment. Bitter because Joe Biden looks to...
March 6th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – While sleeping soundly in his Fargo home, a man who had a dream of being on a cruise ship woke up testing positive for the Corona Virus. After deciding to self-quarantine in his bedroom, the man fell back asleep...
March 5th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – A Moorhead man who has stockpiled literally thousands of the much-demanded N95 facial masks is now selling them for $100 each. Mark Rhoades says that as a favor to the community, he is graciously willing to...
March 2nd, 2020 | by
Johnnny Catalina, Arizona – We recently surveyed less than a million people asking about cats as pets. The overall consensus from our expensive and extensive survey was that domesticated cats have now become obsolete. Case in...
February 29th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Leapwood, TN – Leap Day was started by a man named John Leap from Tennessee. Mister Leap believed that every four years people needed one extra day to do something different. Whether it be rearranging your furniture,...
February 27th, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – Now that vaping is considered one of the healthiest things you can do, classes are being offered on how to vape in order to achieve all the benefits that vaping offers. Dr. Grav Polisoto will be teaching...
February 25th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Footville, Wisconsin – Experts have come up with a new and easy way to determine one’s general overall health. Pounds per vertical foot is the new way to measure and judge how near or far a person is from the ideal...
February 24th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War. President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to...
February 18th, 2020 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – In a stunningly slow turn of events, an older West Fargo couple died while waiting for a red light to turn green. Leth and Helt Ringgold had pulled up to a red traffic light which recently had been having...
February 14th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – The new Amen Church Hospital has named Peter and Paul Christianson as executive directors as the project moves forward toward final fruition. The Amen Church Hospital will be the first of its kind in the nation:...