Tag Archives: algore

Fargo ND Being Used As Test Site By Algore For Global Warming

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Algore’s Climate Reality Project being tested in Fargo, North Dakota.

Fargo, ND – If you notice some major swings in temperature, humidity, and weather happenings around Fargo-Moorhead in the next few years, it will most likely be related to Algore.

His new Climate Reality Project is being tested in Fargo, North Dakota because of the “relatively sparse rural population” and its “geo-centrical location on our sick continent.”

Algore: “For all you folks up there in Fargo, North Dakota…so now, if you experience some major gyrations in temperature and weather in general, please report it to my Climate Reality Project team for documentational purposes.”

Previously, Algore used Denver, Colorado as an example of a larger metropolitan area where Algore personally got Denver’s average high temperature during the month of August up to a steamy 90°F.

Because Of Global Change, Geese Don’t Know Which Direction To Migrate

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The goose population is arguing amongst themselves as to which direction to fly.

Goose Village, Nebraska – Wildlife biologists are noticing confusion amongst the migrating goose population.

Professional bird watchers are observing that migrating geese seem “very confused” as to which direction to fly for their annual migration to Spring break.

Biologist Sue Coons-Fodge says: “We believe that the combination of Global Warming and Global Cooling is creating a major bombogenesis which is causing some serious disorientation for these poor little geese.”

Sue goes on: “Hopefully they’ll get it all figured out in time to travel North, where they can party, and have sex, in order to hatch more future confusion.”

Predictably, all the letters in Sue Coons-Fodge can migrate into: Confused Goose!

Polar Bear That Enters North Fargo Grocery Store Ends Up In The Canned Meats Aisle

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Polar bear enters North Fargo grocery store in search of food.

North Fargo, ND – In what authorities are describing as a very rare occurrence, a hungry large polar bear wandered into a grocery store in North Fargo.

It is believed that some of these arctic carnivores are being driven South to find food because of Global Melting.

Security video cameras recorded the half ton polar bear entering the back door of the grocery store around midnight.

Polar bear ends up in the canned meats aisle.

Meat manager Branden Caporale said the white polar bear went straight to the fresh fish section after eating a few rare steaks.

Luckily, a pair of off-duty police officers had their tazers handy and the polar bear was able to be eventually detained with two pairs of extra-large handcuffs.

When asked what ever became of the polar bear, Mr. Caporale said that a joint decision was made to offer their customers a limited-time offer of fresh canned polar bear meat, which they can find in the canned meats aisle, right next to the sardines.

Ironically, all of the letters in Branden Caporale can be re-arranged to spell: Canned Polar Bear!

‘Polar Vortex Pizza’ Delivers Your Fully Cooked Pizza Completely Frozen

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We guarantee your pizza will be completely frozen by the time you get it.

Fargo, ND – Not real stoked about going out into the arcticly crazy super-cold windchill temperatures for supper?

Maybe you should just stay warm at home while ordering a pizza from Polar Vortex Pizza!

Their pizzas are great, and fully cooked in perfectly hot ovens, and then quickly delivered rock-hard frozen solid to your front door.

The flash-freezing process take only seconds and locks in all the wonderful goodness of your Polar Vortex Pizza!

Some customer feedback: “Yeah, Polar Vortex Pizzas are great, but don’t plan on eating them right away.”

Abominable Snowman Comes To Fargo Area In Search Of Mate

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Yeti or not, here he comes!

Fargo, ND – Have you been wondering: Why is it so darn cold these days?

Answer: Yeti, the abominable snowman, has temporarily left the Arctic Circle long enough to hopefully find himself a mate.

Why now? Because this is the mating season of the abominable snowman, since our winter is actually his Spring.

Experts agree it’s no accident that the word climate is made up of the words: climb + mate.

Why Fargo? No one is quite sure but it’s believed that Yeti has gotten lucky here in the past.

Yetiologists believe that negative windchill factors are how Mr. Abominable attracts his mate. So, the stronger the attraction, the colder it feels.

Algore Sends Frigid Polar Vortex Into North Dakota As Punishment For Fracking

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It is best to not piss off the Godfather of Global Climate Change.

Devils Lake, ND – The Godfather of Global Warming has decided to punish the northern half of MegaKota by routing the icy Polar Vortex back into our entire region.

FMO: “Algore, why did you decide to blast Northern Megakota with a mega-dose of bone chilling Arctic air?”

Algore: “Well, now, I will tell you why. So, sometimes we have to use a carrot and/or a stick. Because of all the terrible horizontal fracking that’s been going on, which I have said is a big No-No, North Dakota needs a strong dis-incentive to not continue with this naughty practice.”

During the near foreseeable future, concerned weatherologists are warning that Global Cooling will be moving in, much like a prolonged uncomfortable visit from your in-laws.

Fargo’s 19th Avenue North Now Open To One Lane Of Traffic

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Fargo’s 72 feet of snow could be a new record!

Fargo, ND – After a record seventy two (72) feet of snow drifted in during this most recent blizzard, 19th avenue North in Fargo is finally open again, but only to one lane of traffic.

City officials are saying that because of the record snowfall, it could take weeks to re-open all four lanes of the road that leads to Fargo’s Hector International Airport.

Luckily, after such an extreme amount of snow, the City of Fargo is now completely protected from Spring flooding by the Red River Diversion project which was just completed for only $2.7 billion.

President Trump Orders Up Some Hurricanes To Dissuade Caravan Of Illegals

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Willa the Caravan make it to the USA despite President Trump’s pair of hurricanes?

Mexico City – As part of Project Dissuasion, President Trump ordered up two hurricanes in an effort to prevent The Caravan from reaching the United States.

Working in close conjunction with the National Hurricane Center, President Trump requested that two new hurricanes be created to hit Mexico as a “welcome present“ to those who would attempt to enter the U.S. illegally.

Algore OKed the request saying that he and President Trump made the deal involving a large purchase of Algore’s Climate Change Carbon Credits in exchange for the hurricanes.

Currently (and by design), both Hurricane Willa and Hurricane Vicente are on track to directly hit The Caravan before it reaches America.

President Trump while playing golf: “If they decide to enter our country legally, instead of illegally, then we’ll cancel the two hurricanes, but for now we’ll just wait and see what happens.“

Global Warming Changing Algore Into A Reptile

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Algore is now becoming Lizard Man!?

Lizarda, Brazil – While in South America giving speeches about Global Warming, Algore has reportedly begun changing into what appears to be a reptile.

Local Brazilian newspapers are now referring to the Climate Change expert as “Homem Lagarto” (Lizard Man).

Some believe that the warmer climate is changing the former vice president into a reptilian human lizard while others think he may have been bitten by a rabid lizard during a jungle camping expedition into the Amazon rain forest.

What do you think about this?

Do you believe in Herpetology?

Are you for or against Global Warming?

Where do you see yourself in 100 years?

Are you willing to fight for peace?

Global Spinning Is Increasing In Speed; Is It Too Late To Try And Put The Brakes On?

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The speeding up of Global Spinning could have some seriously bad consequences.

Spinnerville, NY – Governmental experts are now warning inhabitants of Earth that the spinning of our planet is really speeding up.

Algore, who seems to be the most expert expert on this impotent issue, is predicting that this increase in speed of Earth’s rotation on its axis is caused by Man (mainly in the United States) and he believes that we’all should be heavily taxed so that governmental workers can try to fix the problem.

“Global Spinning is a very, very serious problem which could send some people and animals flying right off the planet and straight into outer space,” says Algore.

How do you feel about the problem of Global Spinning, or don’t you care? What would you do if you suddenly flew off the Earth because it’s spinning too fast? Would you pay more in taxes so your government can wisely spend that money to slow down the spinning of the Earth? Would you be willing to join the Space Force? How much can you bench press right now?