National

Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, photobombs Mars Curiosity photo.
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Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, photobombs Mars Curiosity photo.

August 21st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Bigfoot is a name given to an ape-like creature that people believe inhabits forests in North America.  Scientists discredit the existence of Bigfoot due to lack of physical evidence. Scientists can discredit no longer. NASA and...
Olympic Shame!  Live Raping In Front of Large Audience!
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Olympic Shame! Live Raping In Front of Large Audience!

August 6th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
London – The Olympics is a sports tradition that dates back thousands of years.  It’s a great honor to be a part of.  That is, unless you are getting raped in front of a large audience. That’s exactly what...
Cheney: There Is Nothing I Do Not Hate
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Cheney: There Is Nothing I Do Not Hate

July 29th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – In a recent interview, former Vice President of the United States Dick Cheney was asked his opinion about the upcoming presidential election prospects as well as past candidates. He speculated on Mitt...
Company OMNICORP To Provide Robotic Protection Services
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Company OMNICORP To Provide Robotic Protection Services

July 8th, 2012 | by Nick
Detroit, MI – Technological security manufacturer OmniCorp has announced an introductory product line consisting of unmanned, artificial-intelligence-powered robotic protection systems. This new product line comes at a key...
Trucker Breaks Guiness World Record Clogging Toilets In All 50 States
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Trucker Breaks Guiness World Record Clogging Toilets In All 50 States

June 20th, 2012 | by Nick
Richmond, VA – Trucker Randy Burton has made history in one of the grossest ways possible. Mr. Burton has plenty of time to think about life while on the road, and recently, he let his crazy thoughts get away from him while...
Pair of lungs or some other organ found on LA sidewalk
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Pair of lungs or some other organ found on LA sidewalk

June 12th, 2012 | by Nick
Los Angeles, CA – Sunday evening, authorities received a call to investigate what was reported to be a pair of lungs stuck to a south Los Angeles county sidewalk. With a veritable frenzy of visceral criminal activity...
White House Not Returning George W. Bush’s Voicemails
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White House Not Returning George W. Bush’s Voicemails

June 7th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Former President of the United States George W. Bush is a good man. He worked hard to benefit our country while in office. He is a man of considerable pride and generosity, and recently found it in his...
Dead Morbidly Obese Arsonist Torches Crematorium
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Dead Morbidly Obese Arsonist Torches Crematorium

June 6th, 2012 | by Nick
Graz, Austria – A gigantic 440-lb hunk of dead & smoldering fatty tissue was the cause of a fiery inferno at a Graz, Austria crematorium yesterday. The Observer wondered at first why a beached whale would be brought to...
I Was Gonna Take My Baby Off The Roof Of My Car……But Then I Got High.
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I Was Gonna Take My Baby Off The Roof Of My Car……But Then I Got High.

June 4th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Phoenix, AZ – Some shocking news this past week.  Catalina Clouser, 19, is facing driving and child abuse charges after her one-month-old baby fell off the roof of her car while driving away, forgetting she had put the...
North Dakota declines offer to secede from America & join Canada
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North Dakota declines offer to secede from America & join Canada

May 14th, 2012 | by Nick
North Dakota, USA – In what many in the geography community have called a desperate attempt at coolness, Canada, our gracious neighbors to the north, made a pitiful request to the USA to secede North Dakota & add it to...