National

‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons.  Suicides up 80%.
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‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons. Suicides up 80%.

April 25th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
NEW YORK, NY – The ever so popular unpopular show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” just got renewed for 3 more seasons.  Seriously, people still watch this vile garbage?  E! Entertainment network, another...
Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off
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Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off

April 13th, 2012 | by Nick
Camp Crystal Lake, America – The Observer has learned that in a shocking turn of events today, well-known blood fiend and murder artist Jason Voorhees has decided not to stalk & slash this Friday the 13th. This news...
Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants
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Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants

April 6th, 2012 | by Nick
Los Angeles, CA – World-renowned pop music singer and diva Madonna was recently asked in an interview about the satisfaction and comfort of her penis arm implants: “I absolutely love them. They fit me so well. They...
Android Gets Instagram.  Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.
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Android Gets Instagram. Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.

April 5th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The ever so popular Instagram iPhone application popular among dirty hipsters and dumb fucks in general, was released for Android a couple days ago.  In case you didn’t know how much I love Instagram, you...
Struggling website Google+ threatens suicide
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Struggling website Google+ threatens suicide

March 23rd, 2012 | by Nick
Mountain View, CA – In a not-too-surprising outcry stemming from lack of acceptance, the struggling social networking website Google+ has been audibly lamenting ever being born with threats of self-harm and suicide. The...
Josh Duhamel Lobbying to Purchase and Move City of Minot, ND
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Josh Duhamel Lobbying to Purchase and Move City of Minot, ND

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
With much fame and fortune earned, Josh Duhamel reaches out to his home town. Minot, ND – Hometown kid-turned Hollywood celebrity Josh Duhamel is reaching out to his hometown in the best way he knows how. Mr. Duhamel has...