Recipes For Success

Apple’s Smart Christmas iTree Is The Best New Thing For The Holidays Since Eggnog
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Apple’s Smart Christmas iTree Is The Best New Thing For The Holidays Since Eggnog

December 2nd, 2019 | by Johnnny
Apple Valley, CA – It was just a matter of time until Apple introduced their new Christmas iTree. Now, for your Christmas enjoyment, you can have a smart Christmas tree which, of course, comes with a Siri. This new...
Fargo Woman Named ‘Siri’ Gets Asked A Lot Of Questions
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Fargo Woman Named ‘Siri’ Gets Asked A Lot Of Questions

November 10th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Siri Kittlaus, who’s been living in Fargo ever since she graduated from Concordia College, gets asked a lot of questions during a normal day. Siri, who originally grew up in Sweden, explained to us that as...
Many Apple Pickers Who Choose To Make Apple Wine End Up Getting Quite Drunk
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Many Apple Pickers Who Choose To Make Apple Wine End Up Getting Quite Drunk

October 13th, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – It’s that special time of year once again when apple pickers in the region start thinking about fermentation. Dr. Zymurgy explains that by using the magic of fermentation, a little bit of yeast and...
Apple iDine Designs Leaked
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Apple iDine Designs Leaked

September 16th, 2014 | by Cody Marthaller
Cupertino, CA — As excitement builds for the release of the iPhone 6, Apple software designer John Feltzbar accidentally released plans for the iDine collection scheduled to go on sale next summer. iDine will consist...
Researchers Uncover Guaranteed Method to Extend Smartphone Battery Life
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Researchers Uncover Guaranteed Method to Extend Smartphone Battery Life

April 16th, 2013 | by Nick
Palo Alto, CA – Stanford University researchers have been conducting top-secret experiments in an effort to dramatically increase day-to-day smartphone battery longevity. Scientific trials have been performed on lithium-ion...
Android Gets Instagram.  Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.
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Android Gets Instagram. Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.

April 5th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The ever so popular Instagram iPhone application popular among dirty hipsters and dumb fucks in general, was released for Android a couple days ago.  In case you didn’t know how much I love Instagram, you...
Lemmings Forming Lines As iPad 3 Is Released.
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Lemmings Forming Lines As iPad 3 Is Released.

March 16th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“Something squishy is in my pants” Fargo, ND – Every few months there is a big product release where people are willing to wait in line for hours upon hours in order to get the chance to buy some shit they...
Instagram Sucks and So Do You
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Instagram Sucks and So Do You

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
What is Instagram you ask?  It is an Apple and Android application where over 15 million sheep users like to masturbate with each other over vintage pictures they take.  Instagram gives these hipsters users access to many...