Tag Archives: smart

New School For Gifted Children Requires Quantitative Proof That A Child Is Gifted

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Honeybrook School For The Gifted

West Fargo, ND – The “city on the grow” will soon be adding a brand new state-of-the-art school just for gifted children.

Honeybrook School will be the best school in the country for children of all ages who are deemed to be gifted.

Applicants will be rigorously tested and interviewed to determine which get admitted to Honeybrook School For The Gifted.

Based on their age, each applicant to Honeybrook will be tested and given a score of 1-10 in 25 different categories with the highest possible score being 250.

Here are the 25 categories an applicant will be scored in: ability to follow directions, abstract reasoning, activity level, alertness, attention span, concentration, creativity, critical thinking skills, curiosity, energy level, frustration level, imagination, interests, inventiveness, language, learning speed, memory, observation, problem-solving skills, processing of information, reactions to noise, reading, retention, sense of humor, and vocabulary.

Any child with a test score of 200+ will qualify to attend Honeybrook School For The Gifted.

In case you’re wondering, the team name at this school for the gifted is the Honeybrook Gifs (pronounced Jifs).

Apple’s Smart Christmas iTree Is The Best New Thing For The Holidays Since Eggnog

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Apple’s new iTree will change Christmas forever.

Apple Valley, CA – It was just a matter of time until Apple introduced their new Christmas iTree.

Now, for your Christmas enjoyment, you can have a smart Christmas tree which, of course, comes with a Siri.

This new hyper-functional iTree will change Christmas as much as eggnog did when it was first poured.

Tell Siri to change the look of your iTree randomly or at set times.

You can ask your new Christmas iTree how many presents are under the tree, provide the current total number of gifts for each person, what’s in each present, how much a present cost and where it was purchased, what is the meaning of Christmas, how many years ago was Jesus born, and what is the current value of Apple stock.

The new Apple iTree will also change the look of its lights, its size and shape, and even rotate to enhance your Christmas pleasure all while playing any Christmas music that you want.

Gather the whole family on the couch and have your new iTree take a picture or video of your Christmas happenings, and then ask Siri to contact relatives to FaceTime with others using their iTree!

There is really no limit to what your new Apple smart Christmas iTree can do except it cannot purchase itself…you will have to do that.

Lottery Winner From Fargo Blows It All On A Single Purchase

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Say hello to the 118 foot Wally-118 made by Wally Yachts of the Ferretti Group.

Fargo, ND – After winning a $33 million jackpot in one of the various lottery games, Tommy Swinehart decided to buy himself a real nice boat.

Since he had just won big, Tommy wanted to think big.

Mr. Swinehart ended up purchasing a Wally 118 luxury motor yacht.

This incredibly designed boat tops out at 70 mph due to its 16,800 total horsepower.

Within its 118 foot length, the Wally 118 has a saloon, a dining area, a navigation cockpit, and holds 5,800 gallons of fuel.

Tommy also fell in love with the six plasma TVs, the king-sized master bedroom, the two queen guest rooms, each bedroom having his/her en suite bathrooms.

Unfortunately, Mr. Swinehart’s new Wally 118 cost $33 million, thus leaving Tommy with no money with which to use his expensive luxury motor yacht.

Expectedly, all the letters in Tommy Swinehart can be re-arranged to spell: Smart With Money!

Wanting To Collect And Store Everything In Cardboard Boxes Is A Sign Of Superior Intelligence

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Smart people collect cardboard boxes.

Brainerd, MN – Recent scientific studies show that people who are wanting to collect cardboard boxes in order to store all their belongings in such an organized fashion is a sign of a much higher intellect.

Dr. Debra Brosco-Dax who headed up these studies says that “our findings indicate that wanting to organize things in a collection of boxes is duplicating how intelligent brains organize massive amounts of information in one’s brain.”

The bottom-line take-away of Dr. Brosco-Dax’s research is:

If you are a person who likes to collect cardboard boxes and subsequently use them to store all your personal items, continue to do so knowing full well that you are amongst the smartest people in your community.

If saving cardboard boxes and eventually using them to get all your things organized is not your cup of tea, consider starting to follow in the footsteps of those who do, so as to at least give the outward appearance that you possess a high IQ.

If there is someone at your workplace who is constantly wanting to save boxes, begin to think of this person as one of the smarter ones in your group, and possibly ask that person to mentor you so that you can begin to follow them down the path of wisdom.

Ironically, all the letters in Debra Brosco-Dax can be re-organized to spell: Cardboard Boxes!

FMO Announces The 2018 Smartest Kids Contest

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How smart is your kid?

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is excitedly proud to announce our 2018 Smartest Kids Contest.

“Think of this as a spelling bee but you’re asked questions instead of spelling words,” says Dr. Thomas Tuttle, who runs the Smartest Kids Contest, and who also won his age division when he was younger.

Questions can be on any topic such as current events, general factoids, members of President Trump’s cabinet, cocktail ingredients, historical facts, who’s married to whom, sports trivia, the value of PI, and much much more.

First place winners in each age group will win a trip to Grand Forks, whilst second place winners will win two trips to Grand Forks, and so on and so forth.

If you would like to participate, simply contact Dr. Thomas Tuttle with all your personal information such as name, birth date, Mother’s maiden name, social security number, bank accounts and credit cards. After that, simply start studying for Fargo’s 2018 Smartest Kids Contest!

One tip: Answers to all the possible contest questions can be found in the Fargo Public Liberry.

FMO Recommends Doing Some Pre-Shoveling Prior To Any Winter Storm

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Pre-shoveling just makes sense!

West Fargo, ND – One tip the FM Observer would like to share with our beloved readers is to get out and do some pre-shoveling prior to a winter storm.

What is pre-shoveling, you may ask?

Pre-shoveling is proactively doing some of the inevitable after-storm shoveling that you’ll have to do…but prior to the snow event.

Not only is it much easier than post-storm shoveling, but it will also impress your neighbors, and show them that you care and that you read the FM Observer.

Blaine Rizbain, who recently moved to Fargo: “Now that I’ve tried doing some pre-shoveling, I am totally hooked, not only because I have an addictive personality but because it just makes sense, plus it’s a good way to meet some neighbors.“

Pre-shoveling is also a good idea prior to the first snow storm of the year because it will help you locate your shoveling equipment which is prolly still up in your attic next to your Christmas tree stand.

Vote For Vivian Nutwrangler Because She Wants What You Want

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A vote for Vivian is a vote for sanity.

A vote for Vivian is a vote for sanity. So don’t be crazy. Vote for Vivian!

West Fargo, ND – If you live in, near, or far from District 82, please consider voting for Vivian Nutwrangler.

Vivian is a no-nonsense candidate who is for everything you want. Even more importantly, Vivian Nutwrangler strongly opposes everything you are against.

Vivian knows people. She also know some animals. She has met some people who act like animals.

With a world of experience, Vivian knows what is best for people, animals, and the world.

Vivian Nutwrangler also knows how to get things done. You name it, and Vivian has either done it herself or sub-contracted the job to someone else.

So, on election day, when you go do your patriotic duty and vote, please don’t forget to remember to vote for Vivian Nutwrangler: The most sane person in this crazy world.

Update: You are most certainly invited to join Vivian at her home on election evening to sing and celebrate her election victory by sharing cookies and milk with others who see things the same way you do.

Young Fargo Inventor Hits It Big On Shark Tank

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Smart Cream will cure what ails you!

Fargo, ND – On an upcoming Shark Tank show, a youthful Fargo inventor wows all five sharks and walks away with a mega deal.

The FM Observer received a brief notification about this breaking story with limited details.

What we do know is that twelve-year-old Kim Klug was offered $10 million from each of the five sharks for her Smart Cream.

Kim’s invention, when rubbed on skin, will cure whatever ails a person.

In Kim’s words: “My Smart Cream figures out what the problem is and then fixes it.”

With her Shark Tank deal, along with additional possibilities for some of her other inventions, Kim Klug could be a billionaire by her 13th birthday.

When we contacted Kim about her sudden success, here was her response:

“From a young age, my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard for what you want in life, that your word is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise, that you treat people with respect. They taught and showed me values and morals in their daily lives. That is a lesson that I continue to pass along to others. And we need to pass those lessons on to the many generations to follow. Because we want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.”