Category Archives: Recipes For Success

You can build anything if you have the Recipe For Success

Next Olympic Winter Games To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

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The new F-M Curling Club was the deciding factor to have the next Winter Olympic Games in Fargo.

Fargo, ND – The city of Fargo has been abuzz ever since the International Olympic Committee announced that Fargo, North Dakota will host the next Winter Games.

When Fargo first bid for the Winter Olympic Games, most people ridiculed the idea as fake news, and laughed until they cried.

It turns out that in Fargo, the I.O.C. found everything it was looking for in a Winter Games host city.

From their official announcement statement: “Fargo, North Dakota is a paragon-perfect poster-child place that can host the next Winter Games cost-effectively, logically, efficiently, and safely. Plus, Fargo has a lot of fine restaurants and places to drink mass quantities of bier.”

One insider leaked that Fargo’s new, state-of-the-art Curling Club was one of the main reasons Fargo was chosen to host the next Winter Olympix, since curling has now become the #1 favorite spectator event of The Winter Games.

During this leak, the leaker also mentioned that the only real thing Fargo will have to do to prepare for The Games is create some good-sized mountains, possibly from all the dirt that will soon be excavated for the Red River Diversion.

Building-Like Structures Discovered On Planet Mars

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Experts are wondering: If Mars has buildings, could it also have landlords and tenants?

Utopia Basin, Mars – After first discovering water, and then chocolate on Mars, NASA experts have now confirmed the existance of what appear to be buildings on the Red Planet.

NASA’s Beagle 3 has been sending back some amazing and surprising images since it landed just a few months ago.

“We were literally stunned to find actual buildings on Mars, some with what appear to be lights on inside them,” says Dr. Soni Flamer, who heads up NASA’s Look For Life program.

“These building-like structures that we are seeing on Planet Mars were perhaps never noticed before due to large sandstorms in the Utopia Basin area,” added Dr. Simon Rafel, who sometimes thinks he’s in charge.

Ironically, all of the letters in Soni Flamer and Simon Rafel can be re-arranged to spell: Life On Mars!

Piano Playing Support Group Supportive Of Playing Piano

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The new Piano Playing Support Group is for everyone and anyone who likes to play the piano and eat cookies.

West Fargo, ND – A new support group for piano players is forming in West Fargo for people who might enjoy the benefits of such a group.

Dr. Abu Coplin will be hosting the Piano Player Support Group meetings at his new Pianomatic Support Center.

Each session will begin with a Meet & Greet, followed by participants taking turns playing piano, followed by treats and a discussion group called Issues & Tissues.

Participants will be invited to share their respective feelings on a Question of the Day, such as: What is your favorite note? Do you believe in chords? Why are some piano keys black whilst others are white? If you were a piano, would you play yourself?

If you’d be interested in joining the Piano Player Support Group, please contact Dr. Abu Coplin at his Pianomatic Support Center.

Ironically, all the letters in Abu Coplin can be re-arranged to spell: Piano Club!

Fargo Civic Center Purchased By Tom Cruise/Scientology

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The Fargo Civic Center will soon become The Fargo Scientology Center

Fargo, ND – While Fargo city leaders were wondering what to do with the aging Fargo Civic Center, Scientology’s Tom Cruise made them an offer too good to pass up.

The Fargo Civic Center will be transitioned into The Fargo Scientology Center and become the living, breathing regional headquarters for hundreds of Scientology cult members to recruit more Scientologists to help recruit more Scientologists.

Tom Cruise believes this is truly a win/win scenario:

Fargo leaders are happy to finally get rid of the old Fargo Civic Center for a healthy price of two hundred million dollars.

The ghost of L. Ron Hubbard is happy because now his cult members can rid Planet Earth of all negativity and psychiatry, especially in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

‘The Fargo Syndrome’ Beginning To Affect Many Fargoans

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Suffering from the Fargo Syndrome can cause suffering from the Fargo Syndrome.

Fargo, ND – Many clinics have begun reporting cases of people suffering from the effects of The Fargo Syndrome.

Doctors say it is comes from a fermenting combination of: the long cold winter, a lack of sun and warm fresh air, a depressing sense that you’re living out in the middle of nowhere, and how terribly the Minnesota Vikings season ended.

If you think you might be starting to feel the toxic effects of The Fargo Syndrome, either turn on all your lights, call a friend, go shopping, book a flight to Cancun, or try taking another Xanax.

Experts do point out that one very positive note is that it could be much worse. You could be living up in Grand Forks!

Very Varying Reviews On First Lady Michelle Obama’s Smithsonian Portrait

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Some don’t see much of a resemblance to Michelle Obama whilst others say: Who cares?!

Painter, Virginia – After the official unveiling of Michelle Obama’s portrait for the Smithsonian Institution, debate immediately began on its likeness to the painting’s subject.

Our painting expert, Amsterdam Douglass, believes a portrait painter has a wide latitude in which to express their creative interpretation of a person or object.

“I personally love the Michelle Obama portrait, painted by Amy Sherald, who certainly has her own style, as do we all. If they wanted an exact likeness of First Lady Michelle Obama, then they should have used a photograph.”

Many others have a much differing opinion which generally goes like this: the painting is great, but should probably look very similar to the person who’s being painted.

One critic of the portrait suggested that just the face in the painting be corrected to look more like the First Lady before it is permanently institutionalized at the Smithsonian.

Many Wondering How Curling Can Be Considered An Olympic Sport?

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Since curling is basically shuffleboard on ice, it is more of a game than a sport.

Game Lodge, SD – Many are seriously questioning how Curling became an Olympic “sport” and why it still remains one?

Compared to anything done on skis or skates, it seems that Curling is more in the category of playing Shuffleboard, Bocce Ball, and Cornholio (aka Bean Bags).

Jack Flushing, president of Poker America, believes that if Curling is considered an Olympic “sport”, then so too should Poker also be an Olympic sport.

How do you feel about Curling as as Olympic “sport”?

Do you think it is on the same level as Cross Country Skiing and Downhill Racing?

Does it make sense to you that some Olympic “athletes” can win medals for madly sweeping ice with a broom?

Would you be willing to carry a sign in an anti-Curling protest march?

Tsunami False Alarm Issued For State Of North Dakota

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The legendary state of North Dakota receives its first ever Tsunami Warning.

Bismarck, ND – Even though it did seem a bit odd at the time, a Tsunami Warning was issued for the entire state of North Dakota.

Without thinking, many folks in North Dakota did have a panicky knee-jerk reaction to the warning, which read: “Tsunami Alert – Listen To Radio: This is not a test!”

Lester Schnopgaard told us that after getting his entire family up onto their roof, he then began to wonder: “Hey, how could a tsunami hit North Dakota, and where the heck would the water be coming from?”

Most people who tuned into the radio only heard some country music or a night-time discussion about how aliens have taken over the White House.

About 28 minutes after the Tsunami Warning was issued, it was then cancelled, which was a huge relief to Lester Schnopgaard and the entire state of North Dakota.

Fargo Boy First To Ride Rocket Bike Into Space

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Expect to see many more Rocket Bikes flying out into deep space.

Fargo, ND – A young Fargo man who shall remain unnamed since he is only age 15, has not only started his own company called Space Exit, but has also designed, built, and successfully flown his own Rocket Bike into space.

Jermaine Vincent Cohen, who just turned 15 on Saturday, wanted to prove that his dream of flying a rocket bike into space was not only achievable, but also marketable.

His Fargo-based company called Space Exit will soon begin mass-producing his amazing Rocket Bike so other thrill-seekers can experience the extreme exhilaration of blasting off and riding a bike out into deep space.

Some industry analysts are saying that young Jermaine Cohen’s Rocket Bike is to travel as the iPhone was to communication.

Top Ten Things To Do Instead Of Watching The Super Bowl

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In case you don’t feel like watching the Super Bowl, there are some great alternatives.

Fargo, ND – If you’re looking for some fun and different options to do whilst everyone else in the world is watching the Super Bowl ads, we have thoughtfully surveyed the greater Fargo-Moorhead area to come up with some great alternatives for you, boiled down into one short convenient list:

10. Host an Anti-Super Bowl party and watch CNN.

9. Paint your interior walls with a wild jungle scene.

8. Volunteer to work as a bouncer at a local soup kitchen.

7. Go pick out your next pet(s) at the Humane Society.

6. Do comparison price shopping at different grocery stores.

5. Organize all your belongings alphabetically into boxes labeled A-Z.

4. Go door-to-door and ask people what they’re doing?

3. Read the Book of Revelation out loud and then meditate.

2. Discuss the Nunes memo with close friends and family.

1. Watch the Puppy Bowl on the Animal Planet channel.