Tag Archives: fargo

Ringo Was The Most ‘Normal’ Of The Beatles

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Paul, Ringo, John, George

Fargo, ND – While he was in Fargo recently, purchasing a home in the Dinglewood Heights area, the FM Observer had a chance to chat with Ritchie Starkey, a.k.a. Ringo Starr, drummer for The Beatles.

FMO: How would you compare yourself to the other Beatles?

RS: I honestly believe that I was the most normal and the most grounded of the group.

FMO: Why do think that?

RS: Well, George started playing sitar with his Eastern guru friends, Paul began puffing the magic dragon, and John was tripping with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

FMO: And what about you?

RS: My experiences as a youngster dealing with a number of different illnesses really humbled and grounded me, which is why I like the idea of having a home in Fargo.

FMO: Well, welcome to Fargo! Any general thoughts about your life as you look back?

RS: It’s just really quite amazing that I went from living in a sanatorium and playing drums in their hospital band to becoming a member of the Fab Four. It truly has been a long and winding road!

Two Fargo Illusionists Go Missing, Without A Trace, Except For Their Pajamas

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Goben Wee (left) and Bogen Wee (right) seem to have just disappeared.

Fargo, ND – An ongoing search for a pair of Fargo magicians keeps coming up empty.

The Wee Brothers, who describe themselves as professional illusionists, are seemingly no where to be found after disappearing from their Downtown Fargo condo.

The Police have only found a message in a bottle, along with the pajamas the Wee Brothers were allegedly wearing at the time of their sudden departure.

Hopefully, the Wee Brothers will soon decide to rehumanize themselves after being spirits in the material world while on their secret journey.

Interestingly, all of the letters in both Bogen Wee and Goben Wee can be re-arranged to spell: We Be Gone!

Merge Fargo North High With Fargo South High To Make: Fargo Mega-High School

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Merging Fargo North High and Fargo South High into Fargo Mega-High School!

Fargo Central, ND – While some change orgs are petitioning to merge South and North Dakotas into one MegaKota, others believe it’s time to merge Fargo’s two original high schools back together again.

The person petitioning for this change is Maga Gehrig-Hof: “So yeah, we think this is just really a great idea, and we are hoping it like grows wings, and begins to fly, like really high into the sky?”

Ironically, Maga’s grand-parents attended the old Fargo Central High School which was sadly split into bi-polar North and South twins.

Double ironically, all of the letters in Maga Gehrig-Hof can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Fargo Mega High!

Local Fargo Filmmaker Has A Big Hit With His New Film “Gristly Nights”

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Gristly Nights voted #1 movie at many film fests.

Fargo, ND – A young and upcoming filmmaker from Fargo has boldly announced his presence in the film-making world with a #1 hit at the box office.

Dicky “Dick” Glanders is his name and Gristly Nights is his hot new movie.

Gristly Nights is being nominated for many awards including best new movie and best new director.

The plot follows a corporate executive who undergoes profound changes during a major mid-life crisis.

Movie critic Bopp Zanff says of Gristly Nights: “If this movie is not in your Top Ten, you are a schmuck. This movie will change the world. I give Dicky’s new movie 6 Stars!”

Famous French Chef Accused Of Assault During Fargo Master Class

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Jean-Claude Sorbonne charged with aggravated assault on helpless bread dough.

Fargo, ND – Charges have been filed against a famous French chef while he was teaching a cooking master class to some of the finest chefs in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

French chef Jean-Claude Sorbonne has been charged with cruel and unusual assault on some rising bread dough and is being held in the kitchen of the local jail until his day in court.

Jean-Claude Sorbonne claims he was merely pounding out the bread dough before letting it rise in order to achieve the perfect textural consistency kneaded for perfection.

Some of the many students in the cooking master class mentioned that Chef Sorbonne did seem to be pounding “the hell out of” the bread ad infinitum, to the point where they were feeling quite uncomfortable and wanting to leave.

Fargo’s 19th Avenue North Now Open To One Lane Of Traffic

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Fargo’s 72 feet of snow could be a new record!

Fargo, ND – After a record seventy two (72) feet of snow drifted in during this most recent blizzard, 19th avenue North in Fargo is finally open again, but only to one lane of traffic.

City officials are saying that because of the record snowfall, it could take weeks to re-open all four lanes of the road that leads to Fargo’s Hector International Airport.

Luckily, after such an extreme amount of snow, the City of Fargo is now completely protected from Spring flooding by the Red River Diversion project which was just completed for only $2.7 billion.

Professional Bowler Stuns Crowd During Regional Championship Tournament

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Pro bowler accidentally chucks ball up into ceiling but still manages to win the tournament!

Fargo, ND – While professional bowler Norm Duke Jr. was competing in the Midwest Regional bowling tournament at The Bowler in Fargo, an unfortunate mishap ruined what looked to be a near-perfect game.

Perhaps because of unchecked tournament nerves, or maybe it was because his controlling mother–in–law was in the crowd watching, Norm Duke Jr. somehow chucked the ball up into the ceiling at the start of the tenth frame of his final game.

The good news is that the ball did eventually return to him so that he could go on to pick up all ten pins up for a spare and win the tournament!

The bad news is that Norm Duke Jr. had to give his entire tournament winnings to The Bowler to repair all of the damage done by his wayward sixteen pound ball.

Norm Duke Jr. on his amazing win: “If the word ‘quit’ is in your vocabulary, then the words ‘finish’ and ‘strong’ are likely not. I’m just so very glad I was able to finish strong today.”

Norm Duke Sr. on his son’s amazing win: “When things sometime seem bleak, they can always get more bleaker, or less bleaker, which was the case today, thank God!”

Fargo’s First Full Frontal Face Transplant Operation Deemed An International Success

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If you have a dream, Dr. Sanft Plancarte can help make it happen.

Fargo, ND – As a favor for a friend, Dr. Sanft Plancarte of Fargo’s New Face Center is now literally the toast of the town after being the first to successfully design and implement a new human face.

Dr. Plancarte, who started out as an accomplished auto mechanic, has long believed that the face would be the final frontier for the ultimate personal expression of who one really is, as a member of society.

“The patient and I carefully came up with the facial design together, and then we basically decided to just go for it,” explains Dr. Plancarte proudly, as he happily sips some celebratory whiskey straight from the bottle.

If you would like to help design your new face, simply call or stop by Fargo’s New Face Center at its new easy-to-find location.

As expected, all of the letters in Sanft Plancarte can be surgically re-arranged to spell: Face Transplant!

Fargo Woman Fired From Her Good Job For Having A Bad Hair Day

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Do you think it’s OK to fire someone simply for having a bad hair day?

Fargo, ND – A woman showing up for work at Precision Geometrix Corporation in Fargo was fired on the spot for having an extremely bad hair day.

It is not known whether Ms. Baria Ridderhoff intentionally had her hair looking unusually crazy or if it was just a terribly fortuitous fluke.

From an outside observer’s standpoint (such as her boss), it was deemed to be “bad enough” to ask Baria to immediately pack up her personal belongings and head straight for the exit.

UPDATE: In an attempt to lawyer-up, Ms. Ridderhoff was seen headed to the hairport to allegedly go discuss her case with attorney Michael Avenatti in Newport Beach, California. As she boarded the haircraft, she gave the thumbs-up sign as her wild hair blew wildly in the wind.

Ironically, all of the letters in “Baria Ridderhoff” can somehow be blown around to spell: Fired For Bad Hair!