Tag Archives: fm observer

Free FMO Adult Ed Classes To Increase Your Vocabulary

Leave a reply
You will learn new words so you can impress your friends!

Learn new words so you can impress your co-workers and friends!

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer will soon be hosting another claborian self-improvement class at our intercamped West Fargo headquarters.

This zaptic vocabulary enrichment training is entitled “Impress Others With Lostic Words”.

Imagine answering a job interview question like this: Your company’s bluctive avation is urgibly ostile.

Or, while out on a first date you say: I love how your nesphisis is so speeblish in this tostive shiller!

You won’t want to miss this obtroctive free training taught by some of the most tholmic frunkers in the region.

Bring your ludger to thrumpet the elmody while meeting other farths who share your same scuvition for glegmatic fonkerness.

The FM Observer Is Shutting Down. For Good.

1 Reply
tombstone

Bye. Sayonara. Bon voyage. Arrivederci. Honolulu. Outie. Chow.

Fargo, ND—With a little over four years of incredibly touching amateur satire under its belt, Fargo-Moorhead’s only fake news agency is calling it quits. The FM Observer is shutting down permanently, as of this evening.

What once was a vessel for completely made-up, imaginative, sometimes thought-provoking, Absurdly Observative™ fake news articles is becoming a thing of the past. In a statement released this morning, FMO Staff bid the internet a fond farewell:

“Over the years we’ve gleefully provided the worldwide web with our own personal dose of imaginative fairy-tale news coverage. The fact that we’re fresh out of ideas coupled with an expired internet domain registry was a sign from Above that now would be the best time to pull the plug. What a ride it’s been! We couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out. Well……actually, that’s not true.  We could’ve written better articles.”

Observer staff members will soon be released back into the wild, free again to roam the forests, screaming at squirrels and conjuring Dark Spirits.

The FM Observer would like to thank our sponsors, of which there are none.

Thanks for reading! This website will self-destruct at 23:59 CST. [end]

Travel With All Your FMO Friends To Magical Goosey-Goosey Island!

Leave a reply
Goosey-Goosey Island is waiting for you!

The magic of Goosey-Goosey Island is waiting for you!

Ocean Butte, Atlantic – Are you in minor need of a major getaway or vice versa?

Has your March Madness turned into March Sadness?

Looking for a trip to trump all trips?

It’s time once again to sign up for FMO’s Annual Migration to Goosey-Goosey Island!

Spread your wings and fly away to FMO’s #1 destination for relaxational challenges that most only dream about.

Flock like birds of a feather with others who share your twisted views of reality.

By signing up for our Goosey-Goosey Island Travel Package, it shows you are a person of insightful keenness of mind while also having a stout heart and an appetite for living.

Leave your smartphones, remote controls, church choir practices, and road rage behind.

Don’t worry about the travel details or dates because we always work around YOUR schedule, so there’s really no excuse not to go.

This is all about you, and all of your FM Observer friends. This is all about you experiencing first-hand the magic of Goosey-Goosey Island.

Sign up now and get a free travel packet which includes: an inflatable life jacket, some hot-hot-hot jalapeno beef shtix, an official emergency signaling mirror, and a 3-D Google map showing all the magical wonders of Goosey-Goosey Island!

FM Observer Secures Naming Rights For Blue Post-it Notes

Leave a reply
post-it-azul3-11

Brands®. They’re everywhere®. Get used to it®.

Temecula, CA—A much-anticipated blockbuster deal has been finalized. After extensive negotiations, the FM Observer has inked a lucrative branding contract with popular sticky note manufacturer Post-It. For the next decade, the FM Observer logo will be plastered on each and every blue 3″x3″ Post-it note.

FMO Spokesman Morven Tisslancer announced the deal to shareholders this morning. “I am pleased to announce naming rights for the blue Post-it notes have been secured. Not the yellow, not the pink, not the green. The blue ones, mmkay? From now until 2026, all 3-by-3-inch blue Post-it notes will contain the FM Observer agency logo. No comment. Next question.”

The FM Observer has been aggressively seeking a naming rights agreement after US Bank outbid them for the new Minnesota Vikings football stadium. Investors and developers say the deal with Post-it comes closest to meeting shareholder expectations and in the long run, will likely surpass the simple branding of a big, ugly football stadium.

MSNBC Trade Analyst Thousman VanDelay put things in general terms on last night’s Stock Jocks broadcast. “If FMO had papered the stadium deal, they wouldn’t have seen this perfect opportunity to brand up with Post-it. This is a major win for both parties.”

Exact terms of this agreement are not known. Speculation is that FMO paid mere dollars for the privilege of having yet another obscenely-placed brand thrust in the faces of American consumers.

Expect to start becoming infuriated by this brand placement within the next Fiscal Quarter.

FMO’s Dr. Willy Nilly Announces He’s Permanently Moving To Brazille

Leave a reply
caption here

Dr. Willy Nilly Moving 2 Brazilly

Rio de Janeiro, Braziliana – Our long-time friend and consultant, Dr. Willy Nilly, who’s been helping out the FM Observer for many moons, has finally decided to call it quits and move on into the next chapter of his postcocious life!

Dr. Willy Nilly’s Official Statement:

My time working with this crazy FM Observer funsite, which has almost been the best part of my life, so far, will sadly soon be coming to a end. The next phase of my life will be spent down in Brazille. Leaves have fallen all around, and it’s time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I’m much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it’s time for me to go. The winter moon lights my way. For now I smell the snow, it’s time to go, and I need to leave Fargo. Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I’ve got one thing I got to do: Ramble On! And now’s the time, the time is now, to sing my song! I’m going around the world, I got to find my girl, on my way. I’ve been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On! Gotta find the Queen of all my dreams. Got no time for spreadin’ roots. The time has come to be gone. And to our health we drank a thousand times, it’s time to Ramble On! Ramble On! And now’s the time, the time is now, to sing my song. I’m goin’ down to Brazille, I got to find my girl. So, I’ll be on my way. Good bye, FM Observer!

Dr. Willy Nilly’s FMO Posts:

Ticks Are Bad For WE Fest

Basic Crash Course On Phlebitis

FM Observer Soon Going 3-Dimensional

1 Reply
caption here

The best website will soon become better.

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is proud to announce that it will soon become a 3-D website.

All past, present, and future posts will be presented in three dimensionality.

We have spent millions of dollars preparing our infrastructure for this exciting change.

All you have to do as readers is sit back and enjoy, while wearing 3-D glasses.

However, having a special 3-D computer and 3-D printer would certainly enhance your overall experience.

Eventually, the FM Observer will be four dimensional, but we need some time to make that happen.

Looking Back On Some Of The Top Stories In 2014

Leave a reply
caption here

Another eventful year!

It’s the perfect time once again for a quick and final review of some of the biggest stories on the FM Observer in the last year.

From my perspective, here is the Top Ten List for 2014:

10. Blind Bowler Bowls Back-To-Back Perfect Games – Read story here

9. GM Recall Expands To Every Car Ever Made – Read story here

8. Fargo Named Drunkest City In America – Read story here

7. Fargo’s ESPN Game Day Crowd Swells To A Million – Read story here

6. North Dakota Gets Its Own NFL Team Franchise – Read story here

5. Star Trek’s USS Enterprise Coming To Fargo – Read story here

4. WE Fest Cancelled Due To Diseased Tick Invasion – Read story here

3. Moorhead Haunted House Worth Avoiding – Read story here

2. FM Observer Becomes Dominant Area News Source – Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

1. We lost Cody Marthaller, Co-Founding Father of the FM Observer – Part 1  Part 2

Happy New Year 2015 from the FM Observer! If you must drink and drive, drink water.

FMO To Sponsor Fargo Senior Citizen Soccer Team

1 Reply
caption here

Super Senior Soccer!

Fargo, ND – With the days already starting to get longer, the FM Observer is excited to announce that it will be sponsoring a Summer Super Senior Citizen Soccer Team called the Fargo Flash.

Team members need to be 80+ years of age and also must be able to pass a physical test made up of various soccer drills and special challenges.

The Fargo Flash will play against other regional teams such as the Sioux Falls Dominators and the Bemidji Blue Oxen.

If you are interested in trying out for the Fargo Flash, try to get in shape by April when the team members will be selected. Cheerleaders will also be chosen at this time, along with numerous Emergency Medical Technician staff members.

Think Spring! Think Soccer! Think Super Senior Summer Soccer!

Go Fargo! Go Flash! Go Fargo Flash!

Join FMO On A Whirlwind Trip Around The World

Leave a reply

Make New Friends While Seeing 100 Cities In 100 Days

Non-stop travel means non-stop fun!

Non-stop travel means non-stop fun!

Fargo, ND – We here at the FM Observer are gearing up for our 1st Annual Trip Around The World.

The plan is to hit one hundred cities in one hundred days of fun-packed adventure while making some new life-long friends.

This whirlwind world tour will include stops in such places as: Milan, Madrid, Melbourne, Mexico City, Minsk, Moscow, Monterey, Montreal, and Mutunopolis. Basically any city that starts with an ‘M’ is fair game.

In some cities we might be there for only a couple of hours especially if we can’t find any decent rooms to rent.

Travelers would need to have a valid passport and would be limited to one carry-on piece of luggage.

The total cost per person is unclear at this time so you’ll have to bring lots of money.

For more details, simply contact Fly-By-Night Travel and ask for Merlin. Tell him you’ll be traveling with the FM Observer group and that you want the “Fun Package”.

Some Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller

Leave a reply
caption here

Cody Matthew Marthaller: Arrived: May 27, 1982 Departed: October 26, 2014

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is very sad to say that we recently lost a friend and one of the Founding Fathers of this website.

On Sunday, October 26th, Cody Marthaller lost his long battle with cancer at age 32. Back in August 2012, Cody had been diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer.

Even though the FM Observer was just a small part of Cody’s life, he was a big part of the FM Observer. Cody Marthaller and Nick Hirchert bravely launched the FM Observer back on March 14, 2012.

Since then, Cody published about 273 posts on this website. Thirty eight were published under his real name, Cody Marthaller. Cody’s personal description of himself was: “I’m biologically human. Full-Time Superhero. Part-Time Human.”

Cody also published 235 posts under the name Bill Burns. Cody’s description of Bill Burns was: “Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.”

Even though it was time for Cody to move on, we will forever have a little part of him through his posts on the FM Observer.

What follows is a collection of some of his more memorable posts from the year 2014. We’ll start with Cody’s most recent (and final) post from Aug 20, 2014, and work our way back to January of 2014.

In the coming weeks, look for Parts 2 and 3 in this series where we’ll also remember some of Cody’s more memorable moments from 2013 and 2012 respectively.

Simply click on any title to be taken to that particular post. Enjoy!

New West Fargo Law Allows Exclamation Points In Names
Police Shoot And Kill Cat For Climbing Tree Illegally
West Fargo Police Officers Investigate Bathroom Bomb
Swimmer Spotted Running On Water After Shark Sighting
If You Missed The Supermoon Here Are Some Pics
Man Arrested For Saying Dude And Man Excessively
Arbys Of Fargo North Dakota Found To Be Hiding Life’s Secrets
Second New Species Discovered At The Red River Valley Fair
New Species Discovered At Red River Valley Fair
CEO Has No Idea What He’s Talking About
Todd Fox Arrested For Evading Police Officers
Fox News Reporter Asks MMA Fighter Some Odd Questions
Pup In A Cup
Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron 3
Question To Ask Before Joining A Religion Part II
New Blarney Stone In Trouble Over Public Urination
Screen Actors Guild To Watch the 2014 FIFA World Cup Closely
Area Man Banned From Having Sex With Teddy Bears Arrested Again For Having Sex With Teddy Bears
Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron 2
Nine Players To Watch In The World Cup
City Of Fargo Releases Pamphlet On How To Avoid Getting Hit By A Train
Surprise Puppy
Local Sandwich Artist Gets Lifetime Achievement Award
Neighbor Refuses To Mow
Fargo Canoer Mistakes Ditch Water For Sheyenne River
Family Held Hostage By Pet Leopard Gecko
Insane Ramblings From Random Drunk Bar Patron
Man Immediately Vaporized As He Stepped Outside
Fargo Man Rescued From Toilet
Multi-Tools Review
Fargo To Introduce New Basketball League
Bill Burns Makes The Fargo Invaders Team
Upworthy Headlines That Never Made The Cut
Online Trolls Say 2014 Will Be A Great Year For Them
Meet The Real Dominos Pizza Makers
Box Of Chocolates
Westboro Church States It’s OK To Be Gay On Valentines Day
Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi
Man Sentenced To 75 Years In Prison For Stealing Neighbor’s Cow
Five Things To Do Instead Of Watch Super Bowl XLVIII
FM Observer Staff Writer Turns 89
Casselton Resident Says He Has Proof Of A Yeti
Two Fargo Children Left Unattended On School Bus Resorted To Cannabalism