Johnnny’s 100th Post Retrospective

March 23rd, 2014 | by Johnnny
My first one hundred posts. Pretty soon I can build a fence.

My first 100 posts. Now I can build a fence.

Since 100 is such a nice round number, I decided to use the occasion of my 100th post to take a trip down memory lane. It’s time to look back on my first 99 posts on FMObserver.

All posts are listed as hyperlinks in chronological order. About half of them will have a bonus link indicated as “(pic)” which will show the post’s associated picture, in its full glory. Enjoy!

1. Young Local Chess Master Has Big Plans
2. Cat Receiving Monthly Social Security Checks
3. Tom Cruise Certain Scientology Not A Hoax
4. Sam Houston Having Nightmares About Bison
5. Lunatics Banned From Washington DC
6. Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married
7. Boeing 787 Is (Almost) A Dream Machine
8. Dr. Finance Answer$ Your Money Question$
9. Elmo Charged With DUI and Public Disturbance (pic)
10. Fargo To Build System Of Tunnel Roads (pic)
11. Professional Pie Shoppe Franchise Opportunity (pic)
12. New Flashcards Make Learning Chinese Easy
13. Dog Show Winner Actually A Polar Bear! (pic)
14. State Insane Asylum Reopens Due To High Demand (pic)
15. Dr. Finance Answer$ Another $tupid Que$tion
16. Downtown Fargo To Have Permanent Alcohol Checkpoints (pic)
17. New Jersey Governor Making Fat Be Cool (pic)
18. VooDoo Sun Doctor To Fix Global Warming (pic)
19. Start Your Own Bucket List Club
20. Fargodome Target Of Wacko Protest Group
21. Fargo To Legalize Pot Holes (pic)
22. Barbara Walters Being Retired To A Stud Farm
23. Missing Artwork Has Authorities Perplexed (pic)
24. Winter Storm Xerxes Anger & Danger
25. New Barcode Causing Nausea & Vertigo (pic)
26. Many Restaurants Starting To Go Glutton-Free (pic)
27. Washington Redskins Name Change Contest
28. Learn To Count Just Like Indians (pic)
29. Time Traveler To Speak In Fargo 14 Months Ago (pic)
30. President Attacked By Young Tea Party Organizer (pic)
31. How To Say A Useful Phrase In 10 Languages (pic)
32. Timberlake Concert Cancelled, Replaced By Barrel O’ Monkeys (pic)
33. Goat-Boat Woman To Challenge The Mississippi (pic)
34. Area Cats Tripping On Acid (pic)
35. Are You A Loser?
36. Math Class Replaced By Black Jack Studies
37. New Bridge Freaking Some People Out (pic)
38. New Multi-Bike Is What’s Hot This Summer
39. Jail To Offer Square Dancing As Threat Or Bribe
40. Government Spy Birds Are Watching You
41. Paula Deen Dropped From Human Race
42. Red River Valley Fair Freak Show
43. FM Observer Wins Best Website Award
44. Google To Image Inside Of All Homes
45. White Man To Marry Black Bear (pic)
46. Obama To Take Over Leno’s Tonight Show
47. Russian 2014 Olympics To Be Celebration Of Gayness
48. An Interview With Vice President Dan Quayle
49. Hot New 2-Man White Rap Group Busts A Move
50. Pink Eye SuperBug Is Highly Contagious (pic)
51. New Government Board Game: The Red Line
52. FMO Interviews The Queen Of England (pic)
53. Time To Vote For the Worst In The FM Area
54. How To Get Rid Of Man Boobs
55. Local Artist Unveils New Masterpiece (pic)
56. Local Cemeteries To Double As Paintball Parks (pic)
57. Jodie Foster Admits To Being Part Alien (pic)
58. Government Healthcare Bullies Americans Into Giant SNAFU
59. Flamingo Union To Go On Strike (pic)
60. Santa’s Warning Letter To Naughty Children
61. New Trans-Sexual Hair Salon Opens In Moorhead
62. Downer Changing Its Name To Xanax (pic)
63. How To Build An Underground Bunker (pic)
64. Red River Diversion On Hold Due To Analysis Paralysis (pic)
65. Kangaroo Boxing Coming To Fargo (pic)
66. West Fargo Teacher Stung By A Sting Operation (pic)
67. Snoopy Banned From Parade For Using Inhalants (pic)
68. OBAMACAR: If You Like Your Car, You Can Keep Your Car (pic)
69. Coach Bohl To Become Pastor Bohl
70. FM Observer Invites Russians To Bookmark Our Website
71. McDonald’s To Introduce Two New Sandwiches
72. Get Your Ass To The Moon Soon
73. Results From Our Year-End Photo Caption Contest!
74. Do You Know Whose Mouth This Is?
75. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Denies That He Denied Being Gay
76. Priceless Document Eaten By Fargo Dog
77. Dr. Fenster Helps Answer Some Baby Questions
78. Fargo Proud To Be Named Drunkest City In America
79. Breaking Bad Creating New Crop Of Chemists
80. North Korean Glee Club To Tour America (pic)
81. New Events Being Added To Winter Olympics
82. FM Observer Asks: How Fricking Cold Is It? (pic)
83. Justin Beaver Pleads Drunk To All Charges
84. New FDA Drug Approved For Your Sick Dog (pic)
85. Maui Parrot-Fish Learns To Speak Fluent Underwater English (pic)
86. Super Bowl Pizzas Delivered By Drones (pic)
87. Four Easy Steps To Self-Hypnotic Bliss (pic)
88. Free Personalized Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas
89. All-Candy Diet Promoted By Candy Companies (pic)
90. UFO Sighting In North Dakota Caught On Camera (pic)
91. The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace
92. Help Fargo Police Investigate Convenience Store Robbery
93. Williston Overcrowding & Lack Of Housing Taking Its Toll (pic)
94. FM Observer Goes Corporate With Initial Public Offering (pic)
95. Blind Bowler Bowls Back-To-Back Perfect Games (pic)
96. New York Sinkhole Continues To Swallow Victims (pic)
97. Alarmists Say Rising Spring Temps Evidence Of Global Warming
98. Rust Bucket Becomes FMO’s New Corporate Vehicle (pic)
99. FMO Welcomes Its First Robot Writer To The Team (pic)
100. (pic)

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either or or :o)