Local

How Schools Decide To Close During Weather Events
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How Schools Decide To Close During Weather Events

January 28th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
A number of factors come into play when a school is deciding whether or not to close their doors due to weather events.   Below are some of the obvious factors:   – It is so cold that your balls shrivel all the...
Hundreds of Cars Said, “FUCK THIS SHIT” This Morning Leaving People With No Transportation
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Hundreds of Cars Said, “FUCK THIS SHIT” This Morning Leaving People With No Transportation

January 21st, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – If Mondays were not bad enough, throw in some cold air and wind and you just stepped into the worst place on earth: Fargo. Forecasts last week that ranged from ‘God damn it’s cold’ to...
Bill Burns Defends Fargo From Storm Gandolf.  His Story.
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Bill Burns Defends Fargo From Storm Gandolf. His Story.

January 17th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Storm Gandolf, according to the media, was supposed to be a storm apocalypse.  Those two words “storm apocalypse’ are what sprung me into action.  I wasn’t going to sit by and watch my fellow...
Local cops prepared in case Obama takes guns
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Local cops prepared in case Obama takes guns

January 16th, 2013 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Police departments across our F-M area are taking initiative in case Obama uses executive order to “control” the nation’s guns. Local law enforcement agencies are preparing their officers for...
Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married
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Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married

January 15th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A couple of gay Love Donkeys will soon “tie the knot” at the local zoo. It’s believed to be the first known pair of gay Love Donkeys in captivity to be married within the confines of a zoo-type...
Valley News Live Coverage Of Sitting Buses Leaves Anchors Struggling To Fill Time
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Valley News Live Coverage Of Sitting Buses Leaves Anchors Struggling To Fill Time

January 10th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – After the NDSU Bison football team slaughtered Sam Houston State University, they made their way back to good ol’ Fargo, North Dakota.  Good for them, not so good for the news anchors who had to sit there...
Sam Houston Having Nightmares About Bison
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Sam Houston Having Nightmares About Bison

January 10th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Huntsville, TX – The Sam Houston BearKat football players are not sleeping well these days. After their nationally televised 39-13 humiliation by the North Dakota State University Bison, many of their squad members are...
KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?
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KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?

January 7th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – Imagination time. Late one evening I was sitting on my couch completely nude, besides my long white socks, and enjoying a nice warm cup of tea.  I was hours into reviewing quantum mechanics equations (I do this...
Young Local Chess Master Has Big Plans
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Young Local Chess Master Has Big Plans

January 2nd, 2013 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A young local chess prodigy wants all home-schooled children to form teams. Cooper Sterling has been a chess master since age six. He claims that being home-schooled really allowed him to excel in areas of...
Man Proposes To Girlfriend at The Northern. Proceed To Eat Dinner By Ordering Some Fried Chicken.
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Man Proposes To Girlfriend at The Northern. Proceed To Eat Dinner By Ordering Some Fried Chicken.

December 28th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The magic of love and commitment can be had anywhere.  That anywhere happened to be the Northern Gentlemen’s club located in Fargo, North Dakota this past Thursday. Amongst the smell of fish, piss,...