Recipes For Success

Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers
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Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers

February 6th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – Effective immediately, the City of Moorhead will now be enforcing stringent new penalties for any and all households that do not recycle. Moorhead’s Recycling Czar Marv Hammerstone: “Some folks...
New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck
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New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck

February 1st, 2016 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – For Immediate Release: Announcement: All of the new North Dakota ‘Sunrise’ license plates are being immediately recalled because: The fonts suck! FMO: Hello? Could you please be a little more...
The Entire Internet Will Be Down For Maintenance This Weekend
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The Entire Internet Will Be Down For Maintenance This Weekend

January 29th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Silicon Valley, CA – The Internet Maintenance Task Force has announced that the entire Internet will be down this weekend to perform some server maintenance and important system upgrades. Luckily, this should only affect...
First Fargo Robin Sighting A Sign Of Spring And Global Warming
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First Fargo Robin Sighting A Sign Of Spring And Global Warming

January 27th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Multiple reports of a robin sighting in the trees around the West Acres Mall indicate that Spring is just around the corner. Sheila McCox who had just entered the mall’s parking lot said: “I was so...
Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus
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Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus

January 26th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Hatboro, Pennsylvania – As the mutating Zika Virus spreads by mosquitos through America, the fashion industry is wasting no time trying to get ahead of a new trend. Since the Zika Virus causes microcephaly, hat sizes will...
Barry Manilow’s ‘No Apologies’ Tour Announces Possible Stop In Fargo
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Barry Manilow’s ‘No Apologies’ Tour Announces Possible Stop In Fargo

January 25th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Barry University, FL – The one and only Barry Manilow with his latest “No Apologies” Concert Tour has announced he is considering a concert tour stop in Fargo. A few contract details still need to be ironed out...
Mail Delivery In Some Fargo Neighborhoods Described As ‘Random’ At Best
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Mail Delivery In Some Fargo Neighborhoods Described As ‘Random’ At Best

January 22nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” But nowhere in the U.S. Postal Service’s motto does it say that...
The New Goal When Playing Tennis Is To Lose
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The New Goal When Playing Tennis Is To Lose

January 19th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Tennis, SD – It seems political correctness has now changed the game of tennis. While LOVE still means nothing, the goal of winning the game has changed. What’s going to matter moving forward is how many matches have...
Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy
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Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy

January 17th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Cavetown, Maryland – Recently, while hanging out in the lunchroom of a local hospital, we learned of an interesting phenomenon while sipping coffee at a table with some gastroenterologists. What we discovered is that many...
Gamecocks No Match For NDSU Bison Thundering Herd
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Gamecocks No Match For NDSU Bison Thundering Herd

January 10th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Frisco, TX – A gamecock is a rooster that’s bred and trained for cockfighting. Unfortunately for Alabama’s Jacksonville State, Bison are buffalos that are bred and trained to stomp out gamecocks. After the NDSU...