Editorial

The Fargo DMV Is In A Terrible Location
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The Fargo DMV Is In A Terrible Location

October 23rd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The DMV is the last place one wants to be…..ever.  I’d rather be swimming in pig shit than be waiting in line at the dmv.  If having to enter the gates of hell dmv didn’t make your life...
Must Have Weapon For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse
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Must Have Weapon For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

June 1st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Everywhere, USA – Keep your face, keep your skin, we will fill you in on the most practical weapon against zombies.  Zombies have been in the news lately (here and here) which is an obvious sign of a coming...
Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?
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Should I go see The Avengers or watch a real movie: HELLRAISER?

May 18th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Today at the White House, a government mandate was unanimously passed into marshall law requiring every American citizen to go see The Avengers because “It’s SO damn good.” It seems that...
Android Gets Instagram.  Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.
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Android Gets Instagram. Apple Fans’ Buttholes Hurt.

April 5th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – The ever so popular Instagram iPhone application popular among dirty hipsters and dumb fucks in general, was released for Android a couple days ago.  In case you didn’t know how much I love Instagram, you...
I Don’t Know How To List Something Online Because I’m A Dumbass
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I Don’t Know How To List Something Online Because I’m A Dumbass

March 30th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – So you got something you want to get rid of or sell eh?  These days, with the internet, it is so much easier to sell or get rid of something then it ever has before. Everyone has a camera, every phone has...
North Dakota Senators Tired of Being Overlooked
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North Dakota Senators Tired of Being Overlooked

March 29th, 2012 | by Nick
Washington, DC – Muffled discussion can be heard from inside a capitol building janitorial closet by members of the senate as they stroll by. You see, this is where the North Dakota representatives of the United States...
Tales of a Struggling Economy: Garbage Peddler Pete Wrigley, Jr.
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Tales of a Struggling Economy: Garbage Peddler Pete Wrigley, Jr.

March 20th, 2012 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The less-fortunate have fallen on even harder times than we could have possibly imagined. As evidenced by the photo shown here, a downtown Fargo area transient was exposed recently as an utterly shameless trash...
Come Ready to Party, Leave Drunk and Stupid.
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Come Ready to Party, Leave Drunk and Stupid.

March 14th, 2012 | by Jill Burns
North Dakota Tourism Ad is Scandalous! Leave a Legend? As a young woman with many male friends, I would just like to say that the new North Dakota Tourism ad is outrageous! North Dakota people don’t go out “on the...
Instagram Sucks and So Do You
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Instagram Sucks and So Do You

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
What is Instagram you ask?  It is an Apple and Android application where over 15 million sheep users like to masturbate with each other over vintage pictures they take.  Instagram gives these hipsters users access to many...
At my W.I.T.S. end
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At my W.I.T.S. end

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
A reactive reflection of what winter does to the mind, and its timely ending. I am finally at the end of my WITS. WITS, meaning, of course, Winter Introspective Terror Syndrome. It’s a common affliction–something we...