National

Young Pigs Express Concern Upon Learning Where Bacon Comes From
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Young Pigs Express Concern Upon Learning Where Bacon Comes From

December 26th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Swineford, Pennsylvania – The Pork Industry Group (PIG) says that pigs all across this great nation are planning protest marches to raise awareness for violence against pigs. After seeing a government video depicting where...
Terrible Socialite Diva Making Stop At West Acres
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Terrible Socialite Diva Making Stop At West Acres

December 23rd, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer has learned that Kula RePaParker, heiress to the vast RePaParker® line of stylish animal cosmetics, will be attempting to break the Guinness Book of World Records “most state malls shopped by...
FMO To Sponsor Fargo Senior Citizen Soccer Team
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FMO To Sponsor Fargo Senior Citizen Soccer Team

December 23rd, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – With the days already starting to get longer, the FM Observer is excited to announce that it will be sponsoring a Summer Super Senior Citizen Soccer Team called the Fargo Flash. Team members need to be 80+ years...
Kids: The Christmas Presents Are In Your Parents’ Cursed Egyptian Sarcophagus
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Kids: The Christmas Presents Are In Your Parents’ Cursed Egyptian Sarcophagus

December 22nd, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—You can stop searching. The Observer has learned exactly where your parents are storing your Christmas presents, and it’s not in the location you’re used to. Your gifts are trapped in a centuries-old...
Missing Cat Found Wrapped Up Under Tree
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Missing Cat Found Wrapped Up Under Tree

December 21st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – After their dear sweet cat went missing for two days, the Dumstone family desperately dialed 9-1-1. Specially trained canine units were brought in to hopefully sniff out the lost feline. It turns out that Felix...
Obama To Send All Republicans Into Outer Space
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Obama To Send All Republicans Into Outer Space

December 21st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – With his growing unconstitutional powers, President Obama is planning on executing another of his executive memos. This time he is plotting to ask all top Republican leaders to take a “tour” of...
Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received
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Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received

December 11th, 2014 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Some towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman. Other home deliveries might include hot pizza and junk mail. One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes...
Ted Talks Top Ted, Ted Tedman, Trucking To Town To Talk Teds
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Ted Talks Top Ted, Ted Tedman, Trucking To Town To Talk Teds

December 8th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The top Ted of Ted Talks, Ted Tedman, is coming to town for a “Talkin’ Ted” Ted Talk. Ted Talks scheduled two Ted Tedman Ted Talks at the Travelodge the weekend of January 8th and 9th....
More Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller
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More Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller

November 30th, 2014 | by Johnnny
As mentioned in a previous post, we recently lost Cody Marthaller, who was a dear friend and also a co-founder of this website. Back in 2004, Cody wrote: “Some time in life something will strike hard, but you just get back...
Man Riding Bike To Liquor Store Refuses To Re-Evaluate Life
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Man Riding Bike To Liquor Store Refuses To Re-Evaluate Life

November 29th, 2014 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Upon riding his janky old Huffy to the Nestor off-sale for the 5th time this week, local drunkard Gendle Mungripper still actively refuses to re-evaluate what you or I would call an unfortunate life situation....