Recipes For Success

Lime Disease Traced Back To Margarita Happy Hours
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Lime Disease Traced Back To Margarita Happy Hours

March 24th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Rochester, MN – At the Hellmann’s Mayo Clinic, researchers have positively linked Lime Disease to the excessive drinkage of lime-flavored margaritas. Scientific data shows that people who consume multiple jumbo lime...
Dolphin Correctly Picks Every Game In First Two Rounds Of March Madness
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Dolphin Correctly Picks Every Game In First Two Rounds Of March Madness

March 22nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Dolphin, Virginia – A smiling dolphin named Debbie successfully beat the odds and picked every game correctly in the first two rounds of the 2016 NCAA Basketball Tournament. The exact number of different combinations for...
Fargo Boy Holding Helium Balloons Now Somewhere Over Michigan
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Fargo Boy Holding Helium Balloons Now Somewhere Over Michigan

March 22nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
(Somewhere over) Flint, Michigan – While playing with a bunch of helium balloons in the backyard, seven year old Tommy Sauerson decided to grab “just a few more”. As the second-grader from Fargo’s Heritage...
Large Quantities Of Hydrogen And Oxygen Found In Fargo’s Water Supply
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Large Quantities Of Hydrogen And Oxygen Found In Fargo’s Water Supply

March 20th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Some newly-available digital testing instruments have shown that Fargo’s water supply contains unusually large amounts of Hydrogen and Oxygen. Delroy Chitlins is the acting manager of Fargo’s Water...
Pinochle Banned In The State Of North Dakota
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Pinochle Banned In The State Of North Dakota

March 16th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – In its infinite wisdom, the state of North Dakota has banned the game of Pinochle. Based on an anonymous complaint from Mr. Simon DeFalco that some other seasoned citizens were playing Pinochle for untaxed...
Minnesota’s Turtle Hunting Season Soon To Open
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Minnesota’s Turtle Hunting Season Soon To Open

March 14th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Turtle River, MN – It’s almost that exciting time of year again when turtle hunters of all shapes and sizes come out of their shells and gear up to go turtle hunting. Minnesota reports that a record number of turtle...
Peyton Manning Announces Formation Of Senior Football League
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Peyton Manning Announces Formation Of Senior Football League

March 13th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Denver, CO – During Peyton Manning’s formal announcement of retirement from the Denver Broncos, he used the opportunity to also discuss plans for his new Senior Football League. Peyton Manning: “Even though this...
Fargo To Host 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference
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Fargo To Host 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference

March 11th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Fargo will soon be home to the 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference. Taxicologists from all across the country will descend upon Fargo to learn the latest about everything in the world of Taxicology! As...
All Climate Change Deniers To Be ‘Rounded Up’ And Sent To Work Camps
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All Climate Change Deniers To Be ‘Rounded Up’ And Sent To Work Camps

March 10th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Marfa, TX – Ever since the threat of carbon emissions was deemed to be the #1 threat to our country’s safety, Big Government is wasting no time in dealing with deniers of Climate Change. All who have publicly (or...
Led Zeppelin To Play For Giant Prom Dance At The Fargodome
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Led Zeppelin To Play For Giant Prom Dance At The Fargodome

March 9th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Fargodome officials were very excited to announce that Led Zeppelin will perform for an all-high school prom this Spring. The event coordinator, Ms. Ann Arky puts it this way: “Instead of many small little...