Recipes For Success

The Entire Internet Will Be Down For Maintenance This Weekend
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The Entire Internet Will Be Down For Maintenance This Weekend

January 29th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Silicon Valley, CA – The Internet Maintenance Task Force has announced that the entire Internet will be down this weekend to perform some server maintenance and important system upgrades. Luckily, this should only affect...
First Fargo Robin Sighting A Sign Of Spring And Global Warming
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First Fargo Robin Sighting A Sign Of Spring And Global Warming

January 27th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Multiple reports of a robin sighting in the trees around the West Acres Mall indicate that Spring is just around the corner. Sheila McCox who had just entered the mall’s parking lot said: “I was so...
Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus
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Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus

January 26th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Hatboro, Pennsylvania – As the mutating Zika Virus spreads by mosquitos through America, the fashion industry is wasting no time trying to get ahead of a new trend. Since the Zika Virus causes microcephaly, hat sizes will...
Barry Manilow’s ‘No Apologies’ Tour Announces Possible Stop In Fargo
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Barry Manilow’s ‘No Apologies’ Tour Announces Possible Stop In Fargo

January 25th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Barry University, FL – The one and only Barry Manilow with his latest “No Apologies” Concert Tour has announced he is considering a concert tour stop in Fargo. A few contract details still need to be ironed out...
Mail Delivery In Some Fargo Neighborhoods Described As ‘Random’ At Best
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Mail Delivery In Some Fargo Neighborhoods Described As ‘Random’ At Best

January 22nd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” But nowhere in the U.S. Postal Service’s motto does it say that...
The New Goal When Playing Tennis Is To Lose
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The New Goal When Playing Tennis Is To Lose

January 19th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Tennis, SD – It seems political correctness has now changed the game of tennis. While LOVE still means nothing, the goal of winning the game has changed. What’s going to matter moving forward is how many matches have...
Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy
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Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy

January 17th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Cavetown, Maryland – Recently, while hanging out in the lunchroom of a local hospital, we learned of an interesting phenomenon while sipping coffee at a table with some gastroenterologists. What we discovered is that many...
Gamecocks No Match For NDSU Bison Thundering Herd
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Gamecocks No Match For NDSU Bison Thundering Herd

January 10th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Frisco, TX – A gamecock is a rooster that’s bred and trained for cockfighting. Unfortunately for Alabama’s Jacksonville State, Bison are buffalos that are bred and trained to stomp out gamecocks. After the NDSU...
Long Island Ice Tea Party Seeking Their Presidential Candidate
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Long Island Ice Tea Party Seeking Their Presidential Candidate

January 8th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Long Island, NY – Fed up with all the shinanigans going on in government and politix today, the Long Island Ice Tea Party is ready to make its move. Pre-caucus meetings of the Long Island Ice Tea Party are being held in...
California Drought To Be Quickly Replaced By Giant Mudslides
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California Drought To Be Quickly Replaced By Giant Mudslides

January 6th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Rio Linda, CA – The Good News is that the California drought will soon be over. The Bad News is that the state will soon be one gigantic mudslide. Climatologists at our FMObserver headquarters now believe that California...