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Johnnny’s Ninth Retrospective (Posts 800-900)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 9th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 900 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 900th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back at Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

800. Johnnny’s eighth retrospective (posts 700-800)
801. Women moving to Venus and leaving men behind
802. Tree toppled by storm’s strong winds damages home which owner fixes using only duct tape
803. Clown parade coming to downtown Fargo!
804. Moorhead man who was attacked by a mourning dove is expected to survive
805. Fargo getting positive response from students about year-round schooling
806. Burp Mcguire explains the difference between a horse, donkey, mule, and jackass
807. Expert now believes universe began (and will also end) with a big bang
808. Famous rock band Autopsia is coming to Fargo; Tickets selling madly
809. Try some radioactive soup for what ails you
810. Wealthy benefactor offers conditional money for two Red River Valley counties
811. Top Ten things to do in the Fargo-Moorhead area this weekend
812. Top Ten Confucius quotes (a.k.a. Master Kong)
813. New events center to eventually open in Fargo after it’s made somewhat more inhabitable
814. Man chased by prairie dog in western North Dakota
815. If you’re shopping for a vacuum, we recommend getting the new Super Sucker 9000
816. New church giving whole bottle of wine with communion to attract new members
817. Lottery winner from Fargo blows it all on a single purchase
818. Golf tournament pummeled with watermelon-sized hail
819. Fargo man a dead ringer for Leonardo da Vinci
820. New programmable robot kicks dogs whenever they bark
821. Poetry contest could be your ticket!
822. President Trump to swap the blue state of California for Greenland
823. Monkey makes $34 million in stock market from a $5 investment
824. Kindergartener hitchhikes home after school bus drops him off 75 miles from home
825. UFO encounter in Marshall county Minnesota finally solved
826. National Lutheran church to become bird sanctuary denomination
827. UND football team adds moose as running back to roster in effort to beat the Bison
828. Man tweaks life plan after doctor tells him he may not live forever
829. FM Observer’s long-time mentor dies at the very end of his life
830. Man who’s half goat to marry half-goat woman said to make a great couple
831. Fargo ND being used as test site by Algore for global warming
832. Noble Sheet newsletter to keep everyone updated, connected, and in-the-loop
833. Dinosaur dig in Fargo’s Island Park drawing national attention
834. Mandan Artfest is a continuous celebration of outdoor murals
835. Family trapped in Fargo Escape Room for weeks
836. Mute man learns how to communicate by using a French horn
837. Critics saying Joker movie one of the best family-friendly comedies since Caddyshack
838. Weatherman predicting worst winter ever!
839. Moorhead to host national Zombie Apocalypse survival conference
840. Biden wins Dem debate by focusing on clipping coupons in the stock market
841. Mars rover discovers relatively intelligent life
842. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle moving to Moorhead Minnesota to live a normal life
843. Fargo man promises if he wins lottery jackpot, he’ll give everyone in Fargo one dollar
844. The Pope is encouraging Catholics to read the back of the Bible
845. This month is national Hallucination Day month!
846. Fargo woman named Siri gets asked a lot of questions
847. President Trump made a kid pro quo deal with Ukraine for a children exchange program
848. During impeachment inquiry lunch break Adam Schiff orders pizza for the Dems but disallows Republicans to have any pizza
849. Sign up to win a chance to host Cher in your Fargo home during the nights of her concert
850. For a change, the Concordia College Christmas concert will feature all Beatles music this year
851. Fargo man crushed to death while trying to carry 99-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
852. ND DOT has plans to reduce driver license wait times from 4 hours down to only 3 hours
853. Other states envious of South Dakota’s clever new meth slogan
854. Apple’s smart Christmas iTree is the best new thing for the holidays since eggnog
855. The White Houses twelve days of impeachment calendar is the latest trending Christmas gift
856. People’s Militia Group votes on proper punishment for downtown Fargo jaywalkers
857. Car full of dogs pulled over for excessive number of lane changes
858. Stevie Wonder comes to Fargo to do some snowmobiling
859. Dickinson team name changing from The Midgets to just The Dicks
860. How to find your groove pattern (before it’s too late)
861. Teams of foreign specialists coming to Fargo to study the mating habits of Fargo natives
862. No parking on streets of Fargo after 4 inches of snow has fallen
863. FMO’s medi-van to provide free medical check ups to shovelers
864. FMO to host free all-city concert featuring hot mega-band Neon Fruitcake
865. Your FM Observer is humbled to have once again won best website award
866. Moorhead’s turkey mitigation program getting high marks
867. Local service clubs helping to make snow forts for the homeless
868. Society beginning to show signs of early dementia along with schizophrenia and bipolarism
869. Days Of Our Lives soap opera being replaced by another called Endless Impeachment
870. Chief Justice John Roberts swears himself in during rare Senate moment
871. New school for gifted children requires quantitative proof that a child is gifted
872. Corona Virus now treatable with extra lime
873. Man’s death blamed on panic attack caused by extreme frustration during jigsaw puzzle tournament
874. This man doesn’t remember who he is. Can you help identify him?
875. Male who identifies as female to compete in next Miss North Dakota pageant
876. FM Observer donates valuable work of art to popular soup kitchen to boost morale
877. After Iowa caucus app fails, Iowa Dems using 1920s adding machine to try and calculate the victor
878. Fargo police add new dog that can detect weird activity
879. Weekly listing of divorces in Cass County
880. Amy Klobuchar wrestles woman to ground after being attacked
881. Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” wins the Oscar for best picture
882. Executive directors named for Fargo’s new combo church/hospital
883. West Fargo couple dies in car while waiting for traffic light to turn green
884. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles asked to help fight the corona virus
885. The new measure of health is pounds per vertical foot
886. Learn how to learn how to properly vape by attending beginner vaping classes
887. Leap Day was begun as an extra day to do something new or different
888. Survey asks: do we really need domesticated cats?
889. Moorhead man willing to part with N95 filtration masks for $100 each
890. Fargo man who dreams he was on a cruise ship wakes up with corona virus
891. Bernie Sanders waves good-bye to humanity as he leaves to become the first president of Mars
892. First machine to catch corona virus from a human is now “acting funny”
893. Fargo man impaled by large icicle doesn’t notice it until he gets home to his wife
894. Pandemic social distancing North Dakota style
895. FM Observer’s first annual Panic-Fest cancelled due to lack of toilet paper
896. South Park being used extensively as educational tool for pandemic home schooling
897. Russian Roulette Club once again seeking one new member
898. New home workout program called “Flatten Your Curves” gaining popularity
899. The 40 mental stages experienced during pandemic isolation

Johnnny’s Eighth Retrospective (Posts 700-800)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 8th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 800 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 800th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back at Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

700. Johnnny’s seventh retrospective (posts 600-700)
701. Blood bank looking to hire vampires they can count on
702. Older cats not too hip on trendings of younger cool cats
703. Indian summer celebrated by many even though it’s no longer political correct
704. Dr. Finance: Should I buy some lottery tickets for the mega jackpot
705. President Trump orders up some hurricanes to dissuade caravan of illegals
706. Fargo woman fired from her good job for having a bad hair day
707. Fargo winter softball leagues open for sign up
708. Top ten reasons why the city of Moorhead secretly changed its voting locations
709. The cemetery is a good place for trick-or-treaters
710. Fargo’s first full-frontal face transplant operation deemed an international success
711. Heroic pilot somehow safely lands problematic plane at the Moorhead international airport
712. The pot now legal in four ND counties
713. How to properly entertain guests in your home for coffee or tea
714. UFO sightings over Ireland shortly after release of new Guinness-plus beer
715. New downtown Fargo condos with sheek new dilapidated exterior now for sale
716. NFL pickem calculator is amazingly accurate
717. Things North Dakotans have to be thankful for
718. Try this FMO family tradition whilst enjoying your Thanksgiving day togetherness
719. Man who had just figured out solution to climate change problem hit by bus
720. Fargo man won’t confirm nor deny that he’s running for president
721. Fargo family denied permission to adopt hammerhead shark
722. Sponge pudding shortage threatens some local family traditions
723. Use decorative duct tape to help your partner stop snoring during the holidays
724. Professional bowler stuns crowd during regional championship tournament
725. Nothing says I like you like butterscotch pudding
726. Secret Santa drops in early at many local businesses
727. Here is the winner of our annual picture-of-the-year contest
728. New test for dementia is highly conclusive
729. New home radar system detects and then detains package stealers
730. Vacationing President Trump blames Democrats for hurting his golf game
731. Fargo couple plans outdoor wedding during blizzard
732. Fargo’s 19th avenue north now open to one lane of traffic
733. FM Observer hires new CEO to right the ship
734. FM Observer’s reader’s new years resolutions
735. New game show called Double Jeopardy features twins acquitted of a crime but then tried again for exact same crime
736. Famous French chef accused of assault during Fargo master class
737. Local Fargo filmmaker has a big hit with his new film Gristly Nights
738. Merge Fargo north high with Fargo south high to make Fargo mega high school
739. Two Fargo illusionists go missing without a trace except for their pajamas
740. Long cold winter starting to take its effect on normal people
741. Algore sends frigid polar vortex into North Dakota as punishment for fracking
742. Fargo new born is suspected time traveler based on his post-birth questions
743. Five-day work week likened to rapid rat race
744. Abominable snowman comes to Fargo area in search of mate
745. Ringo was the most normal of the Beatles
746. New Fargo bar/lounge called The Peachflame to exclusively cater to weird people
747. Moorhead man modifies microwave oven to quickly clear snow from his driveway
748. Polar Vortex Pizza delivers your fully-cooked pizza completely frozen
749. Virginia governor Ralph Northam being pressured to do the moonwalk
750. Tie-dyed wind chill map warms hearts of former hippies
751. Top ten winter words North Dakotans are getting really sick of
752. Let the FM Observer help express your love on Valentines day
753. Doctors believe if you can live long enough you might be able to live forever
754. Smiling Depression is now considered a disease treatable with drugs
755. Creative ways to decline an offer besides just saying NO
756. Dr. Harshnel Quadflop called in to investigate Fargo’s recent outbreak of Ekbom’s Syndrome
757. FMO considering selling prayer pillows to help fund reader appreciation parties
758. Polar bear that enters north Fargo grocery store ends up in the canned meats aisle
759. Fargo man gains sixty pounds in one sitting at all-you-can-eat buffet
760. Fargo artist paints first-ever moving picture using kinetic oil paints
761. Fargo clock shoppe owner jailed for refusing to change his clocks to daylight savings time
762. Because of global change geese don’t know which direction to migrate
763. Democrats considering lowering voting age to ten while offering them free candy
764. FM Observers celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a surprise trip to Ireland
765. Proceeds from famous painting by Amsterdam Douglass to help fund Fargo’s flood fight
766. Charles Barkley helps FMO readers with March Madness
767. Cathy’s Cat Cafe opens in Fargo; Reviews give it five meows
768. Peter Pan claims he was abused by Michael Jackson until Tinker Bell found out
769. Today is the last day of the beginning of your life
770. Loud Michael Bolton music to be used at southern border to dissuade illegal entries
771. Police dog licks man to death
772. Dear FMO: How can we create a quagmire on our property?
773. Lucky local Mormon groom successfully marries identical twin sister brides
774. Some are now questioning if the Moorhead interchange planning was subpar
775. West Fargo’s Three Lions Pub: The history of its name
776. Notre Dame church fire in Paris may have been sparked by lone cigarette butt
777. Typo Insurance Company to offer typo insurance
778. House-warming gift ideas for the West Fargo/Fargo area
779. Further funding for Fort Fargo finally finds feasible financial footing
780. Directions to our FMO corporate headquarters for reader meet-n-greet parties
781. President-elect Joe Biden vows to make hudge fund managers take extredable cuts
782. Iconic downtown Fargo Theater to be converted into condos
783. Future-teller Precog coming to Fargo to give free readings to FMO readers
784. Kentucky Derby to be re-raced for first time in its history
785. Entire family goes missing after husband dreams they were all kidnapped
786. Baby Sussex the future king of England shall be called Jughead Forsythe P. Jones of Windsor
787. Group of Fargo wives put their husbands out on boulevard for clean-up week
788. Bad red panda gets solitary confinement after escaping from the Red River Zoo
789. Cooking Corner: How to cook a caged pigeon
790. Emergency counselors now available for problematic family situations
791. New ND Governor’s mansion mistaken for highway rest area by many travelers
792. FM Observer is upping our volume and encouraging our readers to up yours
793. Local couple’s painting worth a half million dollars destroyed by distracted driver
794. Norwegians marching to protest all those stupid Norwegian jokes
795. Top ten things to do in the Fargo-Moorhead area this weekend
796. A rare pair of Velociraptors seen wandering through West Fargo
797. FMO asking: How safe do you feel in north Fargo?
798. Next Fargo air show promises some amazing never-before-seen acts
799. FMO’s Insurance Desk now offering weekend insurance

Johnnny’s Seventh Retrospective (Posts 600-700)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 7th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 700 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 700th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

600. Johnnny’S sixth retrospective (posts 500-600)
601. Woman claims Woodrow Wilson touched her inappropriately during White House visit
602. Expensive study finds that the year 2100 is only about 82 years away
603. Al Franken dedicates new center for groping
604. West Fargo adding seven new robo cops to its police force
605. Winter snow predictions now called flake news
606. Mall Santa resigns after multiple accusations of groping
607. Cigar-shaped alien spacecraft actually a large french bread heading for Fargo
608. Moorhead man who claims to be the real Santa detained for questioning
609. Winter holiday greetings from your FM Observer
610. Top Ten questions to ask family in-laws and relatives during Christmas
611. Fargo man arrested for leaving dog outside too long
612. Moorhead woman builds house all by herself
613. President expected to swear more after study shows profanity is sign of honesty
614. Jeff Sessions voted most out of touch person in America
615. Fargo flocks to car washes before return of dreaded polar vortex
616. CNN’s Anderson Pooper gets South Park award for swearing 81 times in one hour
617. Man who caused Hawaii missile mishap admits he may have pushed the wrong button
618. Readers invited to email us ideas for future posts
619. Selling stolen pets becoming big business
620. Some religious groups demanding statue of David wear some clothes
621. Phi Eagles fans kindly asked to wear purple instead of green to Super Bowl
622. Top Ten things to do instead of watching the Super Bowl
623. Fargo boy first to ride rocket bike into space
624. Tsunami false alarm issued for state of North Dakota
625. Many wondering how curling can be considered an Olympic sport
626. Very varying reviews on First Lady Michelle Obama’s Smithsonian portrait
627. The Fargo Syndrome beginning to affect many Fargoans
628. Fargo Civic Center purchased by Tom Cruise/Scientology
629. Piano playing support group supportive of playing piano
630. Building-like structures discovered on planet Mars
631. Next Olympic winter games to be held in Fargo North Dakota
632. FM Observer lost in the wilderness for forty days
633. All North Dakotans now required to take an annual mental examination
634. The new rage is having a purse puppy
635. Dolphins being introduced to Fargo-Moorhead area hotel swimming pools
636. Mummified monkey successfully brought back to life
637. Fargo’s Wood-Chip-Stock Festival attracting some major attractions
638. FMO considering starting our own line of wedding anniversary cards
639. Vanna White and Pat Sajak getting divorced after thirty five years
640. Court artist accused of drawing under the influence at Cohen/Daniels court hearing
641. Musician flips the bird to Fargo crowd while suppposedly trying to play the F chord
642. Full disclosure: Sean Hannity and Michael Cohen are brothers from another mother
643. New Starbucks bathroom policy welcomes all
644. Sign up to join the FMO birthday club for only $100
645. Fargo family finds gold bars inside walls of their newly purchased older home
646. To show respect, they’re leaving Barbara Bush on the one dollar bill
647. Kids warned against playing outside during nice summer months
648. New driverless motorcycles expected to make roads safer
649. Jimmy Kimmel being investigated for using unlicensed monkey to prepare his taxes
650. Lots now being sold around West Fargo lagoon
651. Downtown Fargo adding another bar in an attempt to increase crime and number of drunks
652. Kitchen remodeling company creating questionably satisfied customers
653. New UND mascot needs a name
654. Mueller seeks to penetrate Trump’s personal inner sanctum with long large probe
655. Controlled burn that got out of control now 50% contained
656. Hawaiian officials warning people that hot lava is very hot
657. Emperor penguin elected president of Antarctica
658. Mind expansion seminars can help you reach beyond your full potential
659. Fargo approves funding for Perv Park where area pervs can gather
660. Nursing home residents shocked when told they must run the full Fargo marathon
661. Busload of Fargo folks heading to the royal wedding
662. Fargo dog school successfully teaching young dogs to communicate in English
663. So-called Feng Shui Burglar breaks into homes only to re-arrange the furniture
664. The Orb is now available wherever cool things are sold
665. FMO announces the 2018 smartest kids contest
666. Pope clarifies there is a Hell, otherwise known as Grand Forks
667. Dennis Rodman to receive Nobel Peace prize
668. Contest winner eats 81 tacos in 15 minutes
669. Area marshes getting really bogged down
670. New game show on Fox called Find Your Parents to be hosted by Roseanne Barr
671. Global Spinning is increasing in speed; Is it too late to try and put the brakes on?
672. All West Fargoans asked to make a rock balancing sculpture in their yards
673. Montana tractor picked up by tornado lands in Minnesota
674. Win this 1968 Mercury Cougar by entering your name at our FMO corporate headquarters
675. Heidi Heitkamp and Kevin Cramer agree to three UFC-style octagon fights
676. Dog saves drowning man from river and then eats the man
677. Former president Jimmy Carter says Jesus would drink Heineken and vote to legalize recreational marijuana
678. Some Minnesota lakes showing early signs of fermentation
679. Gray stray cat virus now infecting some home computers
680. Medora musical rated most over-hyped attraction in ND because it truly sucks
681. Global Warming changing Algore into a reptile
682. Space Farce soon recruiting members in Fargo
683. Profanity OK at Holy Crap church
684. Many now see the Catholic Church as institutionalized pedophilia
685. Man raised by buffalo running for Congress
686. Woman suing hot sauce for being too hot
687. Red River Diversion still trying to begin long after it should have been finished
688. A brief history of Colorado
689. Shoplifter sentenced to twenty years at the West Acres mall
690. All granite countertops being recalled due to gamma radiation
691. Wandering through some wonderings
692. FEMA cot ready for hurricane Florence
693. Grade school goes into emergency lockdown when Catholic priest tries to enter the building
694. Dear Dr. Finance: Is this a good time to buy gold?
695. The new Aaron Rodgers $10 bills are very popular in Wisconsin
696. Wanting to collect and store everything in cardboard boxes is a sign of superior intelligence
697. An Exclusive FMO interview with Walt Whitman
698. What to do after receiving a presidential alert message
699. Another Autumn golfer nailed by a distracted driver-driven golf cart?

Johnnny’s Sixth Retrospective (Posts 500-600)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 6th 100 posts. Now I can begin to build an even longer fence!

Since 600 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 600th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

500. Johnnny’s Fifth 100 Posts
501. Many college students admit to living off of Costco free samples
502. Moorhead couple spends Valentines evening together in jail after being arrested for disrespecting an officer
503. Fargo city leaders vote Yes to seek out Guatemalan sister city
504. Man dies when far-sighted reptile mistakes him for large rodent
505. ND lawmakers vote to cut their own pay and always wear jeans
506. Dr. Pepper advises all his patients to drink more soda pop
507. Jamba Joot to headline Fargo reggae fest
508. Elderly Fargo man will not pay his property taxes until diversion is done
509. Trump to introduce family’s new pet llama whose name is Dolly
510. Motivational speaker Marv Hoppler coming to Fargo for some accelerated sessions
511. FMObserver to purchase city of Fargo for undisclosed number of bitcoins
512. FMO’s Buddy Driscoll will be driving the #99 car in the Daytona 500 race
513. Fargo’s most famous poet tries to explain his ‘best works’
514. Hawaii votes to add another island named Zaui
515. Fargo witch heading to trial
516. Man-on-the-street checking the Zeitgeist
517. New Chinese poodle puppies come in variety of colours
518. Vasco Corporation now hiring part-time workers to test wetchops
519. Fargo’s plan to ban plastic bags irks some civil liberties groups
520. FM area to begin spraying for gadflies
521. Fargo downtowner arrested for repeated dawdlings
522. New Fargo donut shop specifically designed for people on drugs
523. Husband of peanut farmer’s wife driving her nuts
524. Gang signs causing fights between rival retirement homes
525. Fargo’s Dr. Hendassa calling it quits after 150 years of service
526. Jack Nicholson opening a bar in downtown Fargo
527. Local hospitals reporting increasing numbers of gogopox cases
528. FMObserver soon to open university dedicated to teaching fake news
529. Cancellation of UND women’s hockey was just a bad April Fool’s joke
530. New FM area golf course to cross interstate highway
531. Russians hack Krispy Kreme’s secret recipe
532. Fargo man demonstrates how to levitate using advanced meditation techniques
533. Playing slot machines good for health
534. FMO interviews United Airline’s CEO Oscar Munoz
535. Fargo bar fight begins after man asks another to borrow his toogit
536. FMO hiring day will be a week from next month
537. Man hit by train in stable condition while recovering at the morgue
538. Moorhead hoarder finds dead husband buried under tons of junk
539. Trump to use LGBTQ to make America great again
540. Fargo singing group to perform on Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show
541. In honor of humpday, Defense Dept introduces an old/new military weapon
542. FMO’s ABCs for living happily ever after
543. May is take your pet water skiing month
544. Fargo man suing hospital for mistakenly removing his novanoid
545. Rooftop dancing is the new downtown Fargo party craze
546. Groups of homeless living in trees east of Glyndon
547. Moorhead names itself the most scenic city in the Moorhead area
548. Military developing pink night-vision just for female fighters
549. Amsterdam Douglass donates priceless painting for Global Cooling fundraiser
550. North Dakota first state to make church attendance mandatory
551. Foolhardy Fargo men try operating a powerful magnetron outside its protective shielding
552. New MN state record set for smallest walleye ever caught
553. Golfer Ian Poultergeist somehow got trapped in a television set
554. Valuable items for sale at inflated prices
555. New Tiger Woods invitational golf tournament only for legally drunk players
556. Tiger Woods asking for help and understanding after admitting being wealthy ain’t easy
557. Elderly man dies peacefully at home after family tells him Trump was impeached
558. Volunteers sought for Deja-Vu clinical study
559. Anti-distracted driver movement gaining steam
560. New detention centers being built just for distracted drivers
561. Lottery winner on way to collect jackpot killed by distracted driver
562. Area drought being blamed on dry conditions and Global Drying
563. Twelve-year-old Kung-Fu brown-belt kicks crap out of would-be burglar
564. Fargo bocce ball tournament to raise money for its organizers
565. Montana earthquake either caused by Global Fracking or payback for Unabomber
566. 25 eating tips by FMObserver senior staff dietitian Angie Pitts
567. World famous jazz monkey set to wow Fargo jazz aficionados
568. Delaware has broken off from the United States
569. Fargo’s Dr. Svinkhaus believes that black holes matter
570. Storms completely wipe the town of Centralia ND off the map
571. Fargo realtor being sued for calling bedroom #1 the ‘master’ bedroom
572. Man mails himself to vacation destination in a cardboard box
573. Global Warming causing ice to become the new currency
574. West Fargo runners admit to drinking Mt. Dew before running 3-minute mile
575. West Fargo library being closed for displaying books
576. National coffee shortage causing companies to hoard ‘the fuel of business’
577. Solar eclipse cancelled as some find it to be offensive
578. President Trump to vacation in Fargo
579. Minnesota raising legal cigarette smoking age to fifty
580. Hurricane Limbaugh set to wreak havoc on liberal media
581. Man claims he simply forgot to get dressed after walking into his workplace naked
582. Todd Rundgren opens Moorhead concert with a prayer for President Trump
583. Man tries to rob convenience store for a pack of cigarettes using only a pillow
584. Unsportsmanlike conduct now a federal crime
585. Big Bird dead at the age of seventy
586. Superman Trump single-handedly saves Puerto Rico by tossing out paper towels
587. FMO hiring senior retro-tech position to service all our older equipment
588. Costumes and candy banned for Halloween in Fargo
589. Many apple pickers who choose to make apple wine end up getting quite drunk
590. Boys joining Girl Scouts just for the cookies
591. Fargo lobster bisque company goes belly-up due to lack of local lobsters
592. FMO recommends doing some pre-shoveling prior to any winter storm
593. Uncle Screwball warning trick-or-treaters to avoid scary clowns like him
594. Moorhead couple caught with 800 pounds of Qiameth worth an estimated $2.4 billion
595. New wonder drug called Blitzkrieg has some very serious side effects
596. Oprah’s much-anticipated holiday gift-giving guide
597. It’s no longer OK to say ‘OK’
598. Vikings place Sam Bradford on injured reserve and activate Debra Getty-Widder
599. Cat racing coming to Fargo

Johnnny’s Fifth Retrospective (Posts 400-500)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 5th 100 posts. Now I can begin to build an even longer fence!

Since 500 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 500th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

400. Johnnny’s Fourth 100 Posts
401. Obama First Family To Book A Room At Trump’s Turnberry Golf Resort
402. Fargo Woman Suing Led Zeppelin For Plagiarizing Her Song Kashmir
403. New Pizza Business To Specialize In Deliveries To Jails And Prisons
404. Psychic Predicts Large Number Of Fargo Sinkholes To Appear In The Coming Months
405. Photos By Fritz The Cat Opens In Moorhead
406. Black Lights Matter Has One Small Problem
407. Pokemon Parents Pleading Please Stop The Insanity
408. FMO’s First Annual Snackathon Eating Contest
409. Middle Finger Replaces Frown Face On Social Media
410. New Fargo Motorcycle Gang Called The Hell Monkeys
411. Bison Turf To Rise Again From The Ashes Bigger & Better Than Ever
412. Army Corps Of Engineers To Straighten Out Red River For Improved Flowability
413. Young Fargo Inventor Hits It Big On Shark Tank
414. West Acres Mall Stolen By Man Dressed As Security Guard
415. Zika Fears Creating Need For Last Minute Olympic Substitutes
416. Fisherman Catches Rainbow Trout On Internet Using Clickbait
417. Ask For Your Free Beer During Free Beer Week
418. Milkshakes Are A Great Way To Add Some Poundage
419. FMObserver Lights Candle For World Peace
420. Ryan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change
421. Fargo School Board Reveals Its List Of Lofty Goals For The Upcoming Year
422. Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani To Stay In Guestroom Of Randomly Selected Fargo Home
423. Rolling Stones Latest New Hit Sympathy For Dementia
424. Florida Hurricane Giving Zika Mosquitos A Free Ride To The Entire East Coast
425. FMO Buys Gilligan’s Island For Our Readers
426. Most People In FM Area Consider Themselves To Be Above Average
427. FMO Helps Gary Johnson Answer The Question: What Is A Leppo?
428. Send A Basket Of Deplorables From Hillary’s Flower Shoppe
429. George Soros Admits To Being Emperor Palpatine
430. Police Turkeys Helping Moorhead Police Solve Crimes
431. Stephen King To Read Scary Books To Children At Fargo Library
432. Battle Of Wounded Knee Could Leave Adrian Peterson A Paralegal For The Rest Of His Life
433. Fargo Hires A Fourth Grader To Help Prevent System Hacking
434. If You See This Chipmunk, Contact Your Local Authorities Immediately
435. FMO To Host Incredible Meet & Greet Session With Carson Wentz
436. Boy Gets Suspended From School For Saying Shih-Tzu
437. New Meta-University Soon To Open In FM Area
438. Amnesia Support Group Forgets When & Where To Meet
439. Young Man Digging Fargo Diversion By Himself
440. During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump
441. Many Companies See Benefits To Adding Whack-A-Mole To Their Employee Break Rooms
442. Global Warmers Now Say Global Cooling Is Evidence Of Long Term Warming Trend
443. UFO Spotted Within Fargo City Limits
444. World Famous Scandinavian Folk Singer Coming To Fargo
445. Researchers Confirm That Thursday Is The New Friday
446. Gawk Tour Bus To Visit Pipeline Protest Site Without Getting Involved
447. Jason Bourne Moving Back To North Dakota After Learning His Identity
448. Husband Living In Doghouse Learns To Do Tricks For Treats
449. West Fargo Garage Band Hits Big Time After Being Discovered By Leonardo Dicaprio
450. Fargo Man Returns To Life After Clocks Changed Back One Hour
451. Vote For Vivian Nutwrangler Because She Wants What You Want
452. President Trump Puts Pink Floyd In Charge Of Building The Wall
453. Lutheran Social Service Bringing In Many Mice From MN Lakes Area Due To Lack Of Acorns There
454. Super Moon Proves It’s Moving Closer To Earth
455. Facebook To Begin Charging Users A $30 Monthly Usage Fee
456. Harambe’s Family To Sue Zoo Who Blew Him To Timbuktu
457. Fargo Psychic Wins Lottery For Ninth Time
458. Elderly Fargo Man Arrested For Driving 29MPH On I-29
459. Hatchimal Hoarders Selling This Year’s Hot Items Out Of Their Basement
460. Twelve New Words Being Added To FMO’s Dictionary
461. Some FM Area Businesses Allowing Use Of Cookies As Fungible Barter Tool
462. Eggnog Support Groups Now Forming For The Holiday Season
463. Bigfoot Spotted Wandering Around Just Outside Of Moorhead
464. Some Useful Phrases When Travelling To Norway
465. An Online Christmas Card You Can Send To A Friend
466. Man Found Living Inside Fargo Piano
467. After Devastating Loss, NDSU Bison Football Program To Be Cancelled
468. FMO’s Award Winning List Of Things To Do During The Holiday Season
469. Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River
470. Vikings’ Plane Misses Green Bay Runway Wide Left
471. Federal Affordable Cheese Act Providing Free Cheese From US Government
472. Fargo’s Ice Maze Is Free Freezing Fun
473. Recently Discovered Neanderthal Man Suing For Being Called Neanderthal
474. First 2017 Fargo Newborn Gets A Carson Wentz Tattoo
475. Prince Look-A-Like Also Loves Purple
476. Fargo To Get Its Very Own Soap Opera
477. Fargo Man Becomes Very Attached To His Brick
478. Public Service Announcements #1
479. Recounts Show That Jill Stein Won The Election
480. Ways To Stay Warm During A North Dakota Winter
481. Fargo Facebook Families Fatally Fear Fifty Foot Fast Flood Forecast
482. Fargo Teen Accidentally Creates An Actual Wormhole In His Bedroom
483. Volunteers Needed To Test New Bullet Proof Jackets
484. President Trump To Make Salvation Army Part Of US Military
485. Public Service Announcements #2
486. New Fargo Religious Radio Station To Broadcast Only In Tongues
487. Local Youth Has Read Every Book In The Fargo Public Library
488. Large School Bus Full Of Illegal Aliens To Pass Between Earth And Moon
489. UND Offering Classes On How To Wake Up & Get Out Of Bed
490. After Trump Converts To Mormonism He Plans To Add Another First Lady
491. One Of The Most Anticipated Ads During The Super Bowl Is For ‘The Super Bowl’
492. New Downtown Fargo Bar/Restaurant To Provide Horse Stables For Its Cowboy Patrons
493. Fargo North Dakota Seeking To Copyright The Word ‘Fargo’
494. Public Service Announcements #3
495. FMO Planning An Exciting Bus Tour Excursion For Our Readers To The Fossil Fish Festival
496. Glyndon MN Considering Covering Entire Town With A Clear Dome
497. Pinochle Players Spending Most Of The Time Arguing About Trump
498. Ambien User Somnambulates To Ex-Wife’s House To Ask For Nullification Of Divorce
499. Rural Fargo Man Cornered By Moose For A Really Really Long Time

Johnnny’s Fourth Retrospective (Posts 300-400)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 4th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 400 is such a nice round number, twas decided to use the occasion of my 400th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

300. Johnnny’s Third 100 Posts
301. Hillary Didn’t Even Hava Computer In Her Office
302. Endangered Sea Monkeys Found In Fargo’s Red River
303. US Military Top Secret Balloon Dog On The Loose
304. World’s Fastest Banjo Player Coming To Fargo To Do Free Banjo Workshops
305. Volunteers Needed As Fargo Seeks To Break Beer Drinking Record
306. For Thanksgiving Win Your Family A Trip To Turkey
307. Edible Cricket Farming Providing Many Fargo Families Extra Income During Sluggish Obama Economy
308. Ancient Romans Ruins Found Just South Of Jamestown North Dakota
309. With Turkey Shortage From Bird Flu Many Opting For Emu On Thanksgiving Table
310. The Ralph Engelstad Arena Being Dismantled Brick By Brick
311. New Family Fun Game For The Holidaze: Add-On Swear Word
312. Fargo’s New Party Barge To Run On Red River Yearound Thanks To Global Warming
313. Google’s New 3D Printer Can Print An Edible Roasted Turkey
314. New Tax On Christmas Trees To Go Directly To Obama Retirement Fund
315. Last Sane People On Earth Now Starting To Lose Their Minds
316. First Annual Plastic Surgery Beauty Pageant To Crown Miss Plastic America
317. Santa’s Deliveries In Jeopardy As Rudolph Has Chronic Wasting Disease
318. Jamestown Man Goes Crazy While Looking At Himself In The Mirror Too Long
319. FMO’s Dr. Willy Nilly Announces He’s Permanently Moving To Brazille
320. Wife Divorcing Husband For Christmas Shopping At A Strip Mall
321. FMO’s Suggested List For Your 2016 New Year’s Resolutions
322. Top 10 Signs 2016 Might Be A Bad Year For You
323. Oprah Wants Everyone To Join Weight Watchers Since She Owns 10% Of The Company
324. California Drought To Be Quickly Replaced By Giant Mudslides
325. Long Island Ice Tea Party Seeking Their Presidential Candidate
326. Gamecocks No Match For NDSU Bison Thundering Herd
327. Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy
328. The New Goal When Playing Tennis Is To Lose
329. Mail Delivery In Some Fargo Neighborhoods Described As Random At Best
330. Barry Manilow’s No Apologies Tour Announces Possible Stop In Fargo
331. Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus
332. First Fargo Robin Sighting A Sign Of Spring And Global Warming
333. The Entire Internet Will Be Down For Maintenance This Weekend
334. New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck
335. Moorhead Imposes Harsh New Penalties For All Non-Recyclers
336. Thin Man Found Living Inside Fargo Family’s Chair
337. Zen Poets Group To Protest That Blank Lines Matter
338. Fargo Band Selected To Perform During Halftime Of Next Super Bowl
339. Sir Elton John Is Buying The Fargo Theater
340. Valuable Valentine’s Day Mobiles Cleverly Hidden Throughout Fargo Moorhead Area
341. Local Bank Surprised When Confused Robber Asks To Open An Account
342. Military Raising The Bar On Combat Readiness Test
343. Proposed New Downtown Fargo Parking Ramp Offers More Style Than Space
344. Cockpit Of New Boeing 797 Not Dissimilar To Giant Organ
345. Dr. Finance Explains Negative Interest
346. Try Outs Now Open For Fargo’s New Table Tennis Team
347. Moorhead Finally Changing Its Name To East Fargo
348. Rachel Maddow Announces She’s Running For Governor Of North Dakota
349. West Fargo’s War On Dogs Now To Include Deportation
350. FMO’s Final Interview With David Bowie
351. Zika Test Now Available
352. Led Zeppelin To Play For Giant Prom Dance At The Fargodome
353. All Climate Change Deniers To Be Rounded Up And Sent To Work Camps
354. Fargo To Host 55th Annual National Taxicology Conference
355. Peyton Manning Announces Formation Of Senior Football League
356. Minnesota’s Turtle Hunting Season Soon To Open
357. Pinochle Banned In The State Of North Dakota
358. Large Quantities Of Hydrogen And Oxygen Found In Fargo’s Water Supply
359. Fargo Boy Holding Helium Balloons Now Somewhere Over Michigan
360. Lime Disease Traced Back To Margarita Happy Hours
361. Top 10 Responses To FMO’s Man On The Street Question: What If The Unthinkable Happens
362. Travel With All Your FMO Friends To Magical Goosey Goosey Island
363. North Fargo’s Ponyland To Become Largest Refugee Resettlement Camp In America
364. Excitement Builds For New Fargo Diversion Theme Park
365. Delegate To Sue Party Convention Because Nobody Would Caucus With Her
366. Obama Pens Exec Order Forcing All States To Raise Min Wage To $30/Hour By 2040
367. Plans For New Clay County Jail Looking Quite Penal
368. Undercover Investigation Uncovers Underground Senior Citizen Fight Club In Fargo
369. North Dakota Unveils Its New State Flag
370. Boy Drives Entire Family Nuts Practicing Trumpet
371. FMObserver Lands Exclusive Interview With Mr. Stephen Hawking
372. Fargo Marathon Decides To Not Have One Set Route
373. Today Is National Haiku Poetry Day
374. Fargo To Vote On Changing To Either A 6-Day Or 8-Day Week
375. Newly Painted Downtown Fargo Buildings To Add Some Much Needed Color
376. Free FMO Adult Ed Classes To Increase Your Vocabulary
377. Fargo Restroom Patrons Can Use Whichever One They Want Based On How They Feel
378. Senate To Debate If Biweekly Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks
379. 35 Foot Snake Possibly On The Loose In Moorhead
380. April 30 Is National Chop Down Your Neighbor’s Tree Day
381. Fargo Hospital Hires First Monkey Doctor
382. Fargo Man Returns Home To Discover Demolition Crew Destroying Wrong House
383. Million Dollar Painting Vanishes During Art Show
384. Hillary Clinton Recruiting Tech Students To Host Her Email Server
385. Obama Names NDSU Bison Our National Football Team
386. Fargo Homeless Man Amasses Fortune From Penny Trays
387. FMO’s Golf Pro Shares Valuable Tips To Greatly Improve Your Game
388. Moorhead Man Lands Record Large Mouth Bass From Long Lake
389. NDSU Changing Its School Song To We Are The Champions
390. President Clinton To Hit Some Fargo Hot Spots
391. UND Having Second Thoughts About Their Name Change Decision
392. Local Restaurant Review By Nick And Johnnny
393. FMObserver Staff Personally Testing All Of The Various Dog Shock Collars
394. 2016 Rio Olympics Being Moved To Zanzibar
395. Fargo City Commission To Re-Define Integration Goals Within Zones Of Proximity
396. Justin Beaver’s Porpoise Concert Floating To Fargo
397. Fargo Summer Games To Culminate With Shin Kicking Contest
398. NDSU Hires Hairy Potter As Professor Of Spells And Incantations
399. 32 Pound Squirrel Attacks Family Picnickers In Moorhead

Johnnny’s Third Retrospective (Posts 200-300)

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My second one hundred posts.

My 3rd 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence.

Since 300 is such a nice round number (and it is Roman Numeral CCC, which stands for Chocolate Chip Cookies), it was decided to use the occasion of my 300th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

In bowling, 300 is the ultimate, perfect score. In paintball, 300 feet/second is the maximum legal velocity of a paintball.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

200. Johnnny’s Second 100 Posts
201. Brian Williams’ Entire Identity Now Being Questioned
202. National Bonfire Month To Help Combat Global Cooling
203. Drunk Zamboni Driver Ices Ex-Wife’s Property
204. NASA Rocket Launch Bringing Two Of Every Species To The Moon
205. Things To Know About Valentine’s Day
206. Chinese New Year: Year Of The Sheep
207. Swimmable Lake Discovered On Mars
208. Father Of Modern Photography Coming To Fargo
209. Top Ten Zen Proverbs
210. FM Observer To Begin Series Of Area Restaurant Reviews
211. March Is National Eat More Vegetables Month
212. Donate Your Junker To Cars For The Blind
213. Red River Zoo Adding A Rat Farm
214. No One Leaves Alive From This Fargo Haunted House
215. FM Observer Reported Describes Seeing A Ghost
216. The Times They Are A-Changin’
217. FM Observer Restaurant Review: Grand Porks
218. Oceans Rising Faster Than Predicted; Millions Moving To North Dakota
219. Renters Complaining About Clogged Plumbing Get Told By Landlord To Go Screw Themselves
220. Minnesota Tells Residents To Stick It To Fargo
221. Downtown Fargo Parking Sucks; No Plans To Fix
222. Large Sinkhole Creates New Minnesota Lake; Lots Selling Quickly
223. Dolphin Correctly Picks Every Game In Second Round Of March Madness
224. FM Observer Donates Million Dollar Painting To Help Save Fargo’s Horse Park
225. The New West Fargo Recycling Bins Are The Size Of A Hot Tub
226. Fargo Starts New Program To Help Juveniles Avoid Jail
227. Miraculous Elderhaus Magically Cures Whatever Ails You
228. Burning Ban Does Not Include Throwing Lit Cigarettes Out Car Windows
229. Vegas Casinos Ridding Roulette Wheel Of Number 23
230. Drought-Sticken California Looking To Dip Into Swimming Pools
231. Montana Pipe Dream A Religious Experience
232. How To Tell If A Bird Has The Bird Flu
233. Large Comet To Hit Downtown Fargo Next Year
234. Moorhead Starting A Community Bongo Band
235. New Business Called Janitors On Steroids Coming To Fargo-Moorhead Area
236. Wedding Tax Obama Administration’s Next Executive Action
237. New Family Restaurant Offers All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
238. National Weatherman Walk-Out Threatens Nation
239. Baltimore Mayor A Paragon Of Political Pragmatism
240. Minnesota Pond Scum Being Sold As Organic Herbal Muck
241. Yellowstone Park To Soon Blow Its Top
242. Center For Disease Control Bans The Handshake
243. Shania Twain Moving To Fargo
244. New Fargo Children’s Daycare Called Spookhouse
245. Fargo’s Uber Program Offers Free One-Way Jet Rides To Anywhere
246. Some Rejected UND Nicknames Maybe Worth Another Look
247. BitchFest 3000 Coming To Fargo
248. Dr. Finance: What To Do With Too Much Money?
249. Donald Trump Building Skyscraper In Moorhead Just For The Hell Of It
250. Fargo Man Accused Of Illegally Cloning Dachshunds For Profit
251. Leonard Nimoy To Be Rejuvenated With Project Genesis
252. New Insane Asylum For Pets Gives Families Hope
253. Super Fans Will Blow Storm Clouds Away
254. Fargo’s Redhawks Just Hoping To Win A Game
255. FM Observer Soon Going 3-Dimensional
256. New Cheeseburger-Shaped Space Restaurant Ready To Serve
257. Local Large-Group Marriage Expected To Go To The Supreme Court
258. Fargo Airport To Allow Runway Drag Racing In Between Flights
259. Condemned Grand Forks Castle Renting Out As Party House
260. Mosquito Spraying Turns Tadpole Into Giant Mega-Toad
261. Father’s Day Surprise: Wife Gives Birth During Rollercoaster Ride
262. FM Observer Announces Winner Of 1st Dubious Yard-Of-The-Month Award
263. NDSU To Offer Rock Balancing As Major Field Of Study
264. New FM/Lakes Shuttle Service To Alleviate Weekend Traffic
265. Binge Drinking OKed In Fargodome Suites During Football Games
266. Source Of Haze Over Fargo Discovered
267. Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park
268. BigFoot Spotted Roaming WE Fest Area
269. Local Idiot Support Group Has Standing-Room-Only During 1st Meeting
270. Fargo Police Give Blue Angels Speeding Ticket
271. New UND Nickname and Logo Soon Announced: The Sundogs!
272. It’s Official: Jar Jar Binks Is Moving To Fargo
273. In Case You’re Not Sure, Take The FMO Sanity Test
274. Wild Zebra Continues To Run Rings Around Fargo
275. ND License Plates Being Widened To 14 Characters
276. Visit Fargo’s Famous Upside-Down House
277. Many Fargo Dogs And Dog Owners Using Magic Mushroom Therapy To Create A Closer Bondage
278. Donald Trump Planning Fly Overs To Drop $100 Bills In Many Key Voting States
279. Fighting Sioux Fans Plan Freedom-Of-Speech Class-Action Lawsuit Against NCAA
280. Many Considering Getting A Shingle Shot Opting For A Double Shot Instead
281. Local Art Show To Help Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund
282. Haunted Scientology Farm Scaring The Living Crap Out Of Visitors
283. Answer To Fargo’s Beaver Problem: Catapult Them Into Minnesota
284. President Changes Names Of Rocky Mountains, Alabama, and Hawaii
285. Lutheran Social Services Promises To Increase The Number Of Refugees Coming Into Fargo
286. Canada Building Wall To Keep Out Mericans And Mexicans
287. If Elected, President Trump Vows To Go Bald
288. New Designated Driver Party Bus Offers Free Rides To Bars In The Fargo Area
289. Vast Amounts Of Chocolate Discovered On Mars
290. Psychic Convention To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota
291. Caitlyn Jenner On New $10 Hero Bill
292. Ladybug Named Insect Of The Year By Entomologists
293. After Meeting With Bishops, Rooks, And Pawns, Pope Goes Golfing With Obama
294. Former Vikings Mascot Now With Green Bay Packers
295. Donald Trump To House Speaker Boehner: You’re Fired!
296. Fargo’s New Hospital To Treat Dogs And Cats
297. New ‘Cat Fight’ Movie Will Scare The Shit Out Of Cat Lovers
298. Bose Named Next Speaker Of The House
299. New ND Governor’s Mansion To Be Way Nicer Than South Dakota’s

Retro Spective Of Johnnny’s Last 100 Posts

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My second one hundred posts.

My second 100 posts. Now I can build a longer fence.

Since 200 is such a nice round number (and Roman Numeral CC), it was decided to use the occasion of my 200th post to take a trip down memory lane.

South Park celebrated its 200th episode by calling it simply “200”. It took them until Episode 5 of Season 14 to get there. In that episode, Tom Cruise, along with all of the celebrities ever mocked by South Park, filed a class-action law suit against the town.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on FM Observer.

All posts are listed as hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

100. Johnnny’s First 100 Posts
101. Fargo Facing Severe Clown Shortage
102. Moorhead Haunted House Worth Avoiding
103. New Luxury Apartments Look Like Stairs
104. Wasps That Killed the FMO
105. GM Recall Expands To All Cars Ever Made
106. Replace Insomnia With 15 Possible Side-Effects
107. First Visionary Church Offers Portal To God
108. New Aquatic Nuisance Species Is A Nightmare From Hell
109. FMO Announces Summer Camp For New Observers
110. Assburger Syndrome Awareness
111. Donatella Versace Shares Her Beauty Secrets
112. No-Driver Taxis To Be Tested In Fargo-Moorhead
113. Youngsters Drinking Coffee Is A Disturbing New Trend
114. Critics Argue That Federal Prisons Are Too Comfortable
115. Amish Taking Applications For A New ND Settlement
116. Church Bazaar Selling Some Bizarre Items
117. Many Towns & Cities Are Being Taken Over By Dogs
118. Fargo Landfill To Be Permanently Closed
119. FM Observer Photo Caption Contest
120. Funny Looking Man Finds Bar Of Gold In Red River
121. Beautiful Meadow Is A Killing Field For LandShark
122. Cloned Cloners Create Two-Headed Mule
123. Bean Bag Toss Game (Cornholio) Goes Back To Caveman Days
124. World-Wide Jogger Returns Home To Nobody
125. Star Trek’s USS Enterprise Coming To Fargo Airport
126. Lady Attacked By Grocery Store Lobsters
127. Janitor Charged With Fondling Church Organ
128. Man Who Weds Daughter Fathers His Own Granddaughter Whom He Marries
129. Winning Lottery Ticket Being Sought In Knoxville Landfill
130. Dr. Finance On Making Big Money With Garage Sales
131. Koi Ponds Provide Hungry Families With Unlimited Fish
132. KFGO Required To Broadcast Half In Spanish
133. WE Fest Cancelled Due To Massive Invasion Of Diseased Ticks
134. Sir Paul McCartney Returning To Fargodome For Another Concert
135. North Dakota Gets One Of Eight Newly Added NFL Teams
136. Dr. Willy Nilly Discusses Living With Phlebitis
137. Janet Reno Named New Vikings Special Teams Coach
138. West Fargo Imposes Total Watering Ban Due To Global Drying
139. Fargo Man Often Mistaken For 16th US President
140. New Detroit Mountain Recreation Area Offers Fun For Everyone
141. Bowler Union Plans Multiple Strikes
142. Moorhead Crocodile Charged With Killing Of Defenseless Calf
143. Many Are Concerned About UFO Lights South Of Moorhead
144. Wendy’s Pay-It-Forward Program Offers Free Meals After Midnight
145. FMO Launching FMO TV From New FMO Corporate Headquarters
146. Area Outdoor Pianos Maybe Not Such A Grand Idea
147. Feral Rabbits Being Readied To Secure Southern Border
148. Star Trek Captain Janeway Wearing Prison Orange For Being Romulan Spy
149. Moorhead Family Found Living In A Pumpkin
150. Red River Zoo Soon Adding One Large Triceratops
151. How To Prepare For The Coming Ebola Pandemic
152. Early Fargo Business Man Attacked By Giant Blue Mountain Swallowtail Butterfly
153. Fargo College Game Day Crowd Swells To A Million
154. Many Fargo Homes Choosing To Go Off The Grid
155. Fargo Leaders Considering Allowing Chicken Fighting
156. Bags Of Money Hidden All Over The FM Area
157. Civilian Trumpet Militia Groups Now Forming In Your Area
158. Meditation Tents One Way To Combat Stress From Mosquitos
159. Ghost Convention To Be Held In Fargo North Dakota
160. New Green Shoes Designed To Lessen Carbon Footprints
161. Wear Pink To Show Support For The NFL
162. White House Ebola Response Team Practicing Their Craft
163. Lumberjack Union Working With CDC To Stop Treebola
164. Fargo Debates Issue Of Downtown Vomit
165. Clever Calibration Errors Ensure Democrat Victories In Every Race
166. Fanatical Mathematical Radical Goes On Problematical Sabbatical
167. NASA Reducing Its Goal To Just Being Able To Successfully Launch A Rocket
168. Vote Yes On Ballot Measure 11: Make FMO The Official Website Of ND
169. Consider Giving Komodo Dragons For Christmas
170. Some Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller (2014)
171. Hunting Mishap Almost Put Youngster Behind Bars
172. Sign Up Now For Exciting Parade Of Hoarder Homes
173. Ray Rice Challenges Any Woman To Fight Him In An Elevator
174. Government To Begin Grouping People Into Sick Camps By What Diseases We Have
175. More Memorable Moments From Cody Marthaller (2013)
176. Stephen Kink’s New Toxic Santa’s Revenge To Change Christmas Forever
177. How To Keep Your Dog From Pissing On Your Christmas Tree
178. Join FMO On A Whirlwind Trip Around The World
179. Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received
180. Wrap Framed Art To Decorate Your Home For Christmas
181. Win A New Robot For The New Year
182. Obama To Send All Republicans Into Outer Space
183. Missing Cat Found Wrapped Up Under Tree
184. FMO To Sponsor Fargo Senior Citizen Soccer Team
185. Young Pigs Express Concern Upon Learning Where Bacon Comes From
186. Million Dollar Painting Found In Garage Rafters
187. Drug Companies To Give Bill Cosby Lifetime Achievement Award
188. Looking Back On Some Of The Top Stories In 2014
189. Local Man Who Dreamed He Was Flying Wakes Up In Tokyo
190. Top Ten Norwegian Proverbs
191. Hundreds Of Misguided Bison Fans Mistakenly Went To San Francisco
192. Art Show To Help Dog Owners Buy More Dog Food For More Dogs
193. How Many Clones Are Running In This Circle?
194. New PolyPax Chance To Turn Your Life Around
195. New Dollar Hotel Perfect For Some Budgets
196. Another FMO Adult Education Class: Computer Maintenance
197. It’s The Year Of The Owl
198. Prejudicial Scapegoating OK Except When It Comes To Goats
199. New Duplicator Machine Can Duplicate Anything!

Johnnny’s 100th Post Retrospective

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My first one hundred posts. Pretty soon I can build a fence.

My first 100 posts. Now I can build a fence.

Since 100 is such a nice round number, I decided to use the occasion of my 100th post to take a trip down memory lane. It’s time to look back on my first 99 posts on FMObserver.

All posts are listed as hyperlinks in chronological order. About half of them will have a bonus link indicated as “(pic)” which will show the post’s associated picture, in its full glory. Enjoy!

1. Young Local Chess Master Has Big Plans
2. Cat Receiving Monthly Social Security Checks
3. Tom Cruise Certain Scientology Not A Hoax
4. Sam Houston Having Nightmares About Bison
5. Lunatics Banned From Washington DC
6. Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married
7. Boeing 787 Is (Almost) A Dream Machine
8. Dr. Finance Answer$ Your Money Question$
9. Elmo Charged With DUI and Public Disturbance (pic)
10. Fargo To Build System Of Tunnel Roads (pic)
11. Professional Pie Shoppe Franchise Opportunity (pic)
12. New Flashcards Make Learning Chinese Easy
13. Dog Show Winner Actually A Polar Bear! (pic)
14. State Insane Asylum Reopens Due To High Demand (pic)
15. Dr. Finance Answer$ Another $tupid Que$tion
16. Downtown Fargo To Have Permanent Alcohol Checkpoints (pic)
17. New Jersey Governor Making Fat Be Cool (pic)
18. VooDoo Sun Doctor To Fix Global Warming (pic)
19. Start Your Own Bucket List Club
20. Fargodome Target Of Wacko Protest Group
21. Fargo To Legalize Pot Holes (pic)
22. Barbara Walters Being Retired To A Stud Farm
23. Missing Artwork Has Authorities Perplexed (pic)
24. Winter Storm Xerxes Anger & Danger
25. New Barcode Causing Nausea & Vertigo (pic)
26. Many Restaurants Starting To Go Glutton-Free (pic)
27. Washington Redskins Name Change Contest
28. Learn To Count Just Like Indians (pic)
29. Time Traveler To Speak In Fargo 14 Months Ago (pic)
30. President Attacked By Young Tea Party Organizer (pic)
31. How To Say A Useful Phrase In 10 Languages (pic)
32. Timberlake Concert Cancelled, Replaced By Barrel O’ Monkeys (pic)
33. Goat-Boat Woman To Challenge The Mississippi (pic)
34. Area Cats Tripping On Acid (pic)
35. Are You A Loser?
36. Math Class Replaced By Black Jack Studies
37. New Bridge Freaking Some People Out (pic)
38. New Multi-Bike Is What’s Hot This Summer
39. Jail To Offer Square Dancing As Threat Or Bribe
40. Government Spy Birds Are Watching You
41. Paula Deen Dropped From Human Race
42. Red River Valley Fair Freak Show
43. FM Observer Wins Best Website Award
44. Google To Image Inside Of All Homes
45. White Man To Marry Black Bear (pic)
46. Obama To Take Over Leno’s Tonight Show
47. Russian 2014 Olympics To Be Celebration Of Gayness
48. An Interview With Vice President Dan Quayle
49. Hot New 2-Man White Rap Group Busts A Move
50. Pink Eye SuperBug Is Highly Contagious (pic)
51. New Government Board Game: The Red Line
52. FMO Interviews The Queen Of England (pic)
53. Time To Vote For the Worst In The FM Area
54. How To Get Rid Of Man Boobs
55. Local Artist Unveils New Masterpiece (pic)
56. Local Cemeteries To Double As Paintball Parks (pic)
57. Jodie Foster Admits To Being Part Alien (pic)
58. Government Healthcare Bullies Americans Into Giant SNAFU
59. Flamingo Union To Go On Strike (pic)
60. Santa’s Warning Letter To Naughty Children
61. New Trans-Sexual Hair Salon Opens In Moorhead
62. Downer Changing Its Name To Xanax (pic)
63. How To Build An Underground Bunker (pic)
64. Red River Diversion On Hold Due To Analysis Paralysis (pic)
65. Kangaroo Boxing Coming To Fargo (pic)
66. West Fargo Teacher Stung By A Sting Operation (pic)
67. Snoopy Banned From Parade For Using Inhalants (pic)
68. OBAMACAR: If You Like Your Car, You Can Keep Your Car (pic)
69. Coach Bohl To Become Pastor Bohl
70. FM Observer Invites Russians To Bookmark Our Website
71. McDonald’s To Introduce Two New Sandwiches
72. Get Your Ass To The Moon Soon
73. Results From Our Year-End Photo Caption Contest!
74. Do You Know Whose Mouth This Is?
75. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Denies That He Denied Being Gay
76. Priceless Document Eaten By Fargo Dog
77. Dr. Fenster Helps Answer Some Baby Questions
78. Fargo Proud To Be Named Drunkest City In America
79. Breaking Bad Creating New Crop Of Chemists
80. North Korean Glee Club To Tour America (pic)
81. New Events Being Added To Winter Olympics
82. FM Observer Asks: How Fricking Cold Is It? (pic)
83. Justin Beaver Pleads Drunk To All Charges
84. New FDA Drug Approved For Your Sick Dog (pic)
85. Maui Parrot-Fish Learns To Speak Fluent Underwater English (pic)
86. Super Bowl Pizzas Delivered By Drones (pic)
87. Four Easy Steps To Self-Hypnotic Bliss (pic)
88. Free Personalized Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas
89. All-Candy Diet Promoted By Candy Companies (pic)
90. UFO Sighting In North Dakota Caught On Camera (pic)
91. The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace
92. Help Fargo Police Investigate Convenience Store Robbery
93. Williston Overcrowding & Lack Of Housing Taking Its Toll (pic)
94. FM Observer Goes Corporate With Initial Public Offering (pic)
95. Blind Bowler Bowls Back-To-Back Perfect Games (pic)
96. New York Sinkhole Continues To Swallow Victims (pic)
97. Alarmists Say Rising Spring Temps Evidence Of Global Warming
98. Rust Bucket Becomes FMO’s New Corporate Vehicle (pic)
99. FMO Welcomes Its First Robot Writer To The Team (pic)
100. (pic)